Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

If I use a vibrator for most of my sexual experiences alone and with a lover will I become dependent on it and be unable to climax without it?

Answer

Your concern is often expressed to sexual experts; many people worry about this. No, you will not become physiologically dependent on a vibrator but you might become somewhat psychologically dependent on it. No other form of neurological stimulation can match the intensity, consistency, and durability of a vibrator, but what is absent is the closeness, the affection, and even the variability of a lover. Consider the vibrator as a different form of stimulation along with the feelings you get from your lover's penis, mouth, or hand (or whatever other body parts you enjoy!).

03/18/98