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Question

I've taken some interesting nude photos of my wife over many years and I have wanted to show them to two of our best male friends. At first she didn't mind, but now has had second thoughts.

Some of them are quite revealing but all look quite sexy. Does that make me weird to want to show pictures of my wife to two of my friends, who I know would enjoy seeing them? I'm quite proud of her physical features. If I show them without her knowledge and she finds out about it, it may or may not create problems. What are your thoughts?

Answer

To show your wife's erotic and/or nude pictures to two of you and your wife's "best male friends" without her permission would be to violate trust in your relationship with your wife. She might feel betrayed and angry if she found out.

I suggest you talk with your wife about this desire. Tell her what meaning it would have for you to share her nude photos with your mutual friends. This could stimulate a discussion that would help each of you know each other at a deeper level.

Since showing the pictures would be a violation of her privacy, abide by her decision on this issue.

Maybe sharing the pictures would be sexually stimulating for you or might enhance your male ego (similar to "locker-room bragging" about sexual conquests). You and your wife have been together many years; perhaps you are wanting to spice up your lovelife. There are many ways you can do this without bringing others into your sexlife. You might want to explore Tantric sexual practices to enhance intimacy with your wife. There is a way in which our sexual activities and partner's bodies are sacred and "going public" with them does not honor their sacred nature.

1/01/99

Dr. Al Cooper, clinical director at the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Centre (408-248-9737), runs the training program for Counseling and Psychological Services at Stanford University. Dr. Cooper is internationally known for his work in sexuality and is freqently interviewed by the media. He currently writes a column in Men's Health Magazine.

Dr. Coralie Scherer coordinates online services for the Centre and specializes in sexual trauma, women's issues, and marital therapy.