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Question

I have been dating this man for 10 months. Our sex life has been one that is growing and developing. My partner always complains about how he wants to get closer to me. I am receptive to his requests both emotionally and sexually, but it never seems to be enough for him. I feel worn and exhausted. I feel he uses sex as a release of tension and without consideration for me.

Answer

It appears that you feel your relationship has been growing with this man, but you also sound like you are not being related to for who you are. It sounds like an activity is going on, but consideration for your needs is lacking. You may consider mentioning this to your partner when you are not involved in sexual activity at first, and then again when you begin to have sexual contact. If he is using sexuality as a tension releaser rather than as a bonding and relating activity, it might be important you point this out to him. If he has so much tension, maybe he could find other outlets as exercise or talking to a psychologist, to release some of his tension. If his tension decreases, and your ability to communicate together about what you each need from the experience, perhaps your sexual activity will become more meaningful a for both of you. Reaching this goal should leave you energized rather than exhausted.

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