Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I repress my feelings to the point where I often feel emotionally numb. What can I do? I've been in psychotherapy for a year.

Answer

First of all, good for you for seeking help! There are a couple of angles from which you can approach this problem. First of all, how extensive is your vocabulary for labeling your feelings? Some of us use very broad terminology ("I feel bad") to label our feelings. As such, the labels accomplish little as far as understanding goes. In the same vein, how effective do you see yourself as far as identifying others' feelings is concerned? If you feel mystified in this area, it may be a point of focus, i.e., spend some time simply observing people to see how they look and sound when they are angry, sad, happy, etc. Third, how often do you allow yourself enjoyable experiences? To recapture joy, for example, we need to place ourselves in circumstances where joy is possible. Finally, try laughter. Rent some comedy videos. Go to a comedy club. Sometimes laughter is the heat that can thaw frozen emotions.

01/12/99

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.