Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I have been in therapy for some time. Both my therapist and I believe I have made good progress. As such, we are moving toward ending our sessions. But I find that I get upset when I think about terminating my therapy. What can you suggest?

Answer

Therapy can be a profound intimate experience for both client and therapist. As such, saying goodbye can be a difficult and painful process. I would encourage you to make sure that you leave nothing unsaid as far as your regard for the therapy and therapist. Further, see if your therapist might be interested in any feedback you might have to offer as to what was most helpful. Such input can be invaluable. Finally, it is my own belief that in successful therapy the therapist grows as well, sometimes with just as much pain. Keep in mind as you conclude your sessions that your therapist has benefitted from coming into contact with you.

And most especially congratulate yourself on work well done. Having been on both sides of the couch, I believe very strongly that successful therapy takes great courage. You are worthy of your own respect for that.

12/12/98

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.