Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I am terrified of death. What can I do to help myself?

Answer

A place to start is to ask yourself what about death do you most fear. For some, it is a fear of the unknown. For others, there may be a fear based on a specific set of beliefs about the afterlife. Many people are actually fearful of the process of dying and specifically of suffering. Finally, a fear of death may actually point toward some issue you have with yourself. For example, some people fear death because they believe they are going to hell because of certain actions in their lives of which they are ashamed. Addressing the shame directly can often put the person at ease as far as death is concerned.

If your fear of death is affecting the quality of your living, you may want to spend some time with a therapist or spiritual guide. To some extent, we all fear death. But, with help, we can use that fear to focus more directly on the quality of the living we are doing.

12/12/98

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.