Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I find that I think about death a lot and am afraid of dying. What is going on?

Answer

Most of us don't like to think about our mortality but, life being what it is, we are constantly reminded of it. In fact, people fear different aspects of death. Some persons fear the process of dying while others are more afraid of the unknown, worried as to what if anything happens to us after we die.

Perhaps you can turn your fear into a bit of a positive. By acknowledging our mortality and more so our vulnerability, we can resist the common human tendency to take time for granted. Examine what you may be putting off until tomorrow and use some of that fear energy to take care of it today. Often we put off trying to heal a relationship, waiting until it is too late. At other times, we might hold off telling someone we love them only to learn that we no longer have the chance. In the same vein, we put off pursuing some of our dreams, assuming we have plenty of time. A fear about death can change that.

If you find that you are more bothered by uncertainty about an afterlife, you may want to explore that issue with a spiritually oriented counselor since that issue is largely a matter of faith.

Overall you may want to use any anxiety about dying to be an impetus toward real living.

03/15/98

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.