Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I drink 5-9 beers almost every night in a bar for socialization. How can I continue with the social aspect and not drink.

Answer

Drinking that much "almost every night" suggests that it's become a very integrated part of your socialization.  So not drinking and putting yourself in that particular bar to socialize may be difficult.  Consider not drinking for a couple weeks and socializing in places other than the bar.  This may be easier as you won't have as many cues to drink as in your favorite hangout.  Then, when you're comfortable socializing and not drinking (which can take some time), consider returning to your old haunt.

When you do, plan ahead.  Think about what you'll order to drink.  What you'll say to your old drinking buddies.  Consider some activities that keep your hands busy.  Play pool, shoot darts.  And don't be surprised if some of your old drinking buddies aren't as friendly if you aren't drinking with them.  Your true friends will be glad to see you.  People who are just drinking buddies may be threatened by your not drinking.

One more thing.  Very few people are completely successful in changing drinking behaviors perfectly.  If you slip, learn something from your mistake, resume your non-drinking, and try something different.  Keep trying.  Persevere.

If you still have difficulties, consider some professional help.

02/19/98

Reid K. Hester, Ph.D.
Director, Research Division
Behavior Therapy Associates
3810 Osuna Rd NE Suite 1
Albuquerque, NM 87109
505.345.6100 ph
505.342.2454 fax
Behavioral Self-control Program for Windows