Talk about the the good, the bad and the in-between.http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/list.php?73Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:01:45 -0800 Phorum 5.2.7 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117408,117408#msg-117408 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117408,117408#msg-117408
Some time ago I had therapy for a few personal issues and found it beneficial. The most helpful thing my therapist did was understand me. I am now so fascinated by this subject that I have created a short survey on it (which has got NHS ethical approval in the UK). Please take a look.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/therapyquestV2

Thanks

Wiggi]]> Wiggi Psychotherapy and CounselingMon, 26 Oct 2009 04:50:22 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117281,117281#msg-117281 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117281,117281#msg-117281[img]http://jrtux.com/images/5792-178248-728x90.gif?s=113102[/img] [img]http://jrtux.com/images/5792-178251-250x250.gif?s=113102[/img] [img]http://jrtux.com/images/5792-178251-250x250.gif?s=113102[/img]
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In sociology, Learn How To Meet Women seduction is the answer of intentionally enticing a person Seduce Hot Women to sign up in some nature of human voluptuous behavior. How To Seduce Women. The message seduction stems from Latin and means strictly Meet Women "to leading astray." As a follow, the stipulations may get a sure Seduce Hot Women or adverse connotation. Notable seducers from history or legend allow for Giacomo Casanova and the character Don Juan. Seduction, seen negatively, involves captivating How To Meet Women and cajolery, over again Seduce The Sexiest Women and How TO Meet Women lustful in constitution, to lead someone astray into a How To Seduce Women behavioural fitting they would not play a joke on made if they were not in a shape of physical arousal. Seen unqualifiedly, seduction is a synonym for the purpose the enactment of charming someone — masculine or female — during an appeal to the senses, continually with the ambition of reducing unjustifiable fears and foremost to their Dating Advice (procreative) emancipation. Female Orgasm Techniques. The seducing factor may tied be nonhuman, such as music or food. In modern learned on, the case, the honesty of seduction depends Female Orgasm Techniques on the long-term impacts on the individuals active, rather than the do itself, and may not inescapably uphold the negative connotations expressed in glossary definitions.]]> PrisygerBuisy Psychotherapy and CounselingFri, 02 Oct 2009 23:44:41 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117272,117272#msg-117272 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117272,117272#msg-117272I have met a man about a year ago, and a long distance relationship started between us. This man had a girlfriend who used to tell him that if he left her, she would kill herself. One day she found a plane ticket on his computer and she realized that something was going on with him. Then she discovered some texte messages and emails, and she would ask him about me, and he would tell her that we are two old friends from the teenage years who found each other, which is true I knew him when he was 15 and I 13.
Anyway, he had to travel to visit his ailing mother before she dies, and 24 hours later, he learned that his girlfriend killed herself. He is totally devastated and of course feeling so guilty, actually even me, am feeling a little guilt, although I could not believe it when he said that if he left her she would kill herself, and he never left her, it was like he was having an affair with me while keeping her.

Since this tragedy, his text messages have become very seldom and the maximum he can say is "darling", not another word of love of caring for me. My friends tell me that I have to be patient, that it's a terrible tragedy that he is going through, but I feel depressed and sad, doubting that he probably is putting a big part of the blame on me??

What do you think and how should I react? I've thought of just leaving him, but also my friends tell me that it's not the time to put him under another pressure, especially that what happened was because he had a relationship with me!

Thank you]]> cricri29 Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 25 Oct 2009 12:28:34 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117270,117270#msg-117270 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117270,117270#msg-117270i love him so much and he is my soulmate, i know if i keep treating him the way i am, i'm going to lose him which is my biggest fear.
iv'e always been taught that if something is too good to be true, then it usually is. my boyfriend treat's me with respect, has never cheated on me and has never given me any reason to believe that he doesnt want to be with me, yet i keep pushing him away. i'm insecure and i alway's read between the lines rather than take what he say's and be happy.
iv'e been treated badly in other relationship's, constantly lied too, physical and mental abuse, cheated on and emotional abuse to the point where i almost had a nervous breakdown. i thought that i had managed to sort my head out and was past letting it affect me, but the longer i'm with my partner, the more scared i get that i'm going to lose him. i want to change because i know he loves me and he wants to be with me, i just don't know why i keep treating him this way because all i want is to be with him for the rest of my life. i just cant go on doing what i am, it's making us both so miserable.]]> jo Psychotherapy and CounselingSat, 31 Oct 2009 07:12:02 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117072,117072#msg-117072 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117072,117072#msg-117072
After a couple years of CBT type therapy, I recently tried this type of therapy, but it did not work out with the first doctor. I get the sense he was not honest and maybe even manipulative. I realize the nature of the therapy might be pseudo manipulation, but we were terminating the relationship.

On only the 2nd visit, I developed an attachment to him. He did blank state and addressed all my defenses until I had none left. Is this aggressive to do to a patient you don't know? The reason I am asking is because I was traumatized by the whole situation. I felt a childlike attachment to him, and longing feelings, and when I went back for the 3rd viist, I immediately told him about these strong feelings, and he responded that he couldn't treat me. He was very callous and unempathetic about the whole thing (this was not being imagined through the transference) and even seemed angry about it. So I left feeling like an abandoned child, physical pain felt as well, and never had a chance to work through the emotions with him.

I had been so honest and open with him--telling him horrific and shameful things about my past/childhood trauma. I hadn't opened my emotions to past therapists, and he was the first person I really let myself trust. Something I knew about him before i met him allowed me to trust him, and there were other things that led to that....like his protective nature in his words and actions...But it seemed he was really judgemental when I told him about the attachment.
He never told me what happened to me or explained anything, so I'm searching for answers. I also and wondering if I should stay away from this type of therapy or not. I learned so much about myself from having those feelings with this doctor, but I am scared to death of being traumatized by another.

Thanks for letting me tell my story.]]> pebbles Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 23 Aug 2009 08:19:55 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117054,117054#msg-117054 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,117054,117054#msg-117054
Been seeing my t for over a year. He (and I) thinks I have BPD but wont give me definitive diagnosis. Anyway, we had a break at the beginning of this year, and I didn't see him for a few months (my decision). I have major trust issues, and up until that point he was brilliant. I find it difficult to talk to him so I would write things down and take them to session, and he would always talk them through with me, giving me constant reassurance. He is the only person that has eve understood me. He told me it was ok to email him between session, whic I did occassionally if things were getting on top of me. He would email me back with a really thought-through answer and was very attentive and sensitive to how I was feeling. I could bring up difficulties I was feeling with him (i.e. that I thought he didnt like me-which was and is, a constant feeling/thought, etc), and he would attend to that feeling. He was always very warm and suportive of whatever I was going through.

I started seeing him regularly (weekly) again a couple of months ago, and things have changed. I feel that he has become more cold and hard towards me. I have always thought that he is looking for an excuse to dicharge me, and we have spoken about this many many times, and he has been very understanding. But when I have brought this up recently he has become frustrated with me. He has told me that he feels frustrated that I can't tell him everything he needs to know for me to move on, and that really makes things worse for me. We have also talked about this. I feel that he is losing patience with me, and that he really doesnt like me. I have no idea why he still wants me to come back every week.

So, what i want to know is where do I go from here. I have been through so much with him that I will find it nearly impossible start again with someone else, but at the same time I feel that he has changed towards me and that I am not getting what I used to get form him in terms of attentiveness and understaning. GIven that I have real interpersonal issues, and what he knows about my personality probloems, I thought he would be more empathetic. DOes anyone have any advice/have you been through something similar before??

Sorry its so long!]]> Confused1982 Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 26 Jul 2009 02:53:52 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116949,116949#msg-116949 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116949,116949#msg-116949
Anyone here had psychodyanmic counselling? Or, are you trained in psychodynamic counselling?
I just finished having counselling with a woman who has an MSc in Psychodyanamic Counselling from a highly rated British university. Also, she is now one of the editors of an influential journal on the same subject. But my 2 years with her were frustrating. I carried on with her because the sessions were free. I was at university. The service was provided by them.

But this counsellor remained silent when I brought in very stressful and traumatic that were happening to me at the time.
Also, she hardly used the stuff I told her in the past (about my past) to illuminate my present worries.

What can I do? Can I make a complaint?
I feel that a counsellor can be very effective outside the counselling room and very incompetent inside it.
In Britain, a counsellor is not filmed on cameras and then @#$%& her sessions with her client. So, what a client says can be denied by the counsellor.

What do you all think?

Would really appreciate your thoughts.

Thank you for your time.]]> MangoMan Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 19 Jul 2009 15:44:10 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116854,116854#msg-116854 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116854,116854#msg-116854I'm a twenty five year old wife and mom. When I was twelve, my mother married a man we will call "Tom". For thirteen years Tom has tried to make me as miserable as possible, and I am ashamed to say that he has succeeded to an extent. For example, Tom has been out to ruin my relationship with my mother (which he has said to me), excluded me from the family (they have two children together), verbally abused me, and made up lies about me. He is extremely self serving. He has narcissitic qualities, at the least. Now, I have a great family. My husband is wonderful, I have a BS in social work, and am currently going back to school, and our four month old daughter is great. My mother and I have had a great relationship in the past despite everything that Tom has done to me. Since I have had my daughter, however, things have changed. I have begun to resent my mother for standing around and staying with Tom after everything he has done to me, and continues to do. I know that I have a family of my own, but this really hurts. I cannot believe that she would stay with someone who did this to her daughter. And now I feel as if my relationship with my mom is ruined. She says she understands that he is terrible to me, but she believes that he will change. She also has two little kids, and doesn't feel like she can break up the family. Is there a solution to this? I already stay as far away from Tom as I can, but when he sees me, he will insult me, and then deny it to my mother. I have recently tried to stay as calm as possible but it is hurtful because I love my mom very much and would like to see her more, but I can't be around Tom. Even though I am an adult, it is more hurtful than ever, I guess because I understand more than I did before. Any advice on what to do would be helpful. I am thinking about seeing a therapist to deal with this...]]> arabX Psychotherapy and CounselingMon, 06 Jul 2009 10:12:01 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116805,116805#msg-116805 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116805,116805#msg-116805
I just do not understand what I am doing wrong. I have tried everything from online dating services, to even spending over $900 to join a local dating service, which got me nowhere at all. It just seems like the girls that I am interested in are either taken, have no interest in me, or turn out to be people that I don’t even want to be associated with, let alone date. I have gotten a few dates from the online dating services, but it seems like after the first date, they want nothing to do with me.

Honestly, I am a home body much of the time. People often tell me that I need to get out and meet people to increase my potential of meeting someone. The question is, WHERE do you go? I learned long ago that the type of person that I want to meet is not in a bar. But where else are you supposed to go?

Even though I am very much a home body, it’s not like I NEVER leave the house. So you would think I would meet somebody just running my normal course of life. Why can’t I meet someone, in, say a checkout line, or someone I happen to bump into in the isle of a store? Or a customer at work? Or someone I happen to meet while getting lunch at a restaurant? Or a cashier at one of the many gas stations I go in, home depot, or any of the stores I go in frequently? I am a member of weight watchers, and I go in every single week for the meetings. Guess what? No singles there either.

I do DJ work on the side for fun, so I do get out of the house to do that. But even doing that, I have found that there really is no potential to meet someone, because people that come to dances or other events, are always with someone.

I have even gone so far as to look for old friends on myspace that I went to school with, played with as a kid, and even kids I knew growing up many years ago that were kids of family friends of my parents, hoping SOMEONE out there might still be single, that I could re connect with. Every single one of them is either married, involved in a relationship, or wants nothing to do with me all together.

Even my cousins, who are all years younger than me, are all involved in serious relationships. One is even married, and has a 2 year old daughter. Even the kid I grew up with on my street, who is 5 or 6 years younger than me, is married with a kid.

I just don’t understand why everyone else I know or am related to is either seriously involved or married, while I have just been put up on the shelf.

Ever since I was a little kid, I have wanted nothing more than to find a companion, get married, and have my own family. But while everyone else is off meeting people and progressing in their relationships, Here sits me, with love nowhere in sight.

When I graduated high school 13 years ago, my plan was to move to where my sisters are, which happens to be over 1500 miles away. Not only did I want to do this to get closer to them, and maybe bond better, but I also wanted to be closer to THEIR kids and be a part of their life. Part of the reason in doing this, was because I thought that I would eventually meet someone and have my family, and they would be around the same age as their cousins, and be able to live close by and grow up together. Well, when I eventually did get to move here 9 years ago, the oldest of my sister’s kids was 9 years old, and the youngest was not even born yet. Now, the oldest is going to be 19, and the youngest is 9. So, even if I were to have kids at this point, their cousins are going to be so much older than them, the oldest ones old enough that they have moved out of the house and living far away most likely. And here is another sad fact: When I moved here in 1999, my sister had a family friend that had 2 boys, 7 and 9. Guess what? Those boys are now out of high school, and one is married, and the other one is engaged. Pretty sad that someone you met when they were 9 years old and you were 21, that can find someone and get married before you even turn 30.

Had I known that I was not going to meet someone by now, honestly, I would have never even moved. I don’t even like it here. I didn’t even think I would like it here before I moved, but I though by having a family and being close to my siblings would be worth the sacrifices. I gave up a good life to move here, little did I know, I’d get nothing for it.

Another thing that gets to me, is that I have decided (many years ago) that I wanted to stay a virgin until the day I met someone and got serious with them. I never was the type that wanted to just go out and “get laid.” Many people back in the day made fun of me for that, and tried to hook me up, and I just told them, that that is not who I am.

Had I known that I would still be a virgin at 30 years old, in all honesty I probably would have gone out and “gotten laid.” Who else out there is 30 years old and has never even gotten to have sex?

I guarantee at this age, I am not going to meet anyone that is going to appreciate it. I take a lot of pride in it, but the chances of me finding someone my age who is still a virgin are pretty darn slim. I should have just gone out and hooked up when I was younger just like everybody else.

The sad thing is, that I have a lot of qualities that many women DREAM. I don’t like porn, I don’t go out partying or stay out being stupid all night, I’m not into drugs, and I would never treat a girl like crap.

I see the way so many guys treat their wives, and wonder how if someone like that can get involved with someone, why can’t I?

Am I just not meant to ever have a companion? And if so, why was I put here in this world? It’s just not right. Who wants to live life alone? Maybe SOMEBODY out there does, but it sure isn’t me.]]> DJ2004 Psychotherapy and CounselingThu, 09 Jul 2009 15:58:15 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116797,116797#msg-116797 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116797,116797#msg-116797
Joycet]]> joycet Psychotherapy and CounselingFri, 14 Aug 2009 00:29:23 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116759,116759#msg-116759 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116759,116759#msg-116759

Dear Friends,

Have you ever wondered why some people are more successful in finding satisfying relationships than others? Although many studies have focused on the impact of parenting styles on our adult intimate relationships, the exact connection remains unclear.

This study examines the most recent psychological surveys to evaluate this problem. We are seeking more specific information on the connection between an individual’s opinions of their parents and later adult relationships. In order to be eligible for the survey, you must have been raised in the U.S. in a two-parent household from birth until age 18.

Participation is voluntary and all participants are eligible for a lottery with a $50 prize.

In order to gain the most insight into these two topics, we would like to collect as much information as possible, so your participation is not only greatly appreciated but also valuable. Your participation in this study will take approximately 30 minutes of your time and is done entirely on-line by answering questionnaires. The questionnaires can be accessed by clicking on the link below:

[www.surveymonkey.com]

All information collected is anonymous and you will not be asked for identifying information at any time. You may choose to create an I.D. (3 letters and 2 numbers) in order to receive your personal results of the survey. The results are not intended to serve as a professional clinical diagnosis.

Your participation is greatly appreciated and I thank you for your time and the valuable information. Please forward this e-mail to anyone that may be interested in participating in this study.

Best regards,
a]]> alex12345 Psychotherapy and CounselingThu, 21 May 2009 08:35:00 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116524,116524#msg-116524 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116524,116524#msg-116524 IhaveHerpes Psychotherapy and CounselingTue, 12 May 2009 17:52:43 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116486,116486#msg-116486 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116486,116486#msg-116486
Thanks: Justdealing]]> Justdealing Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 26 Apr 2009 22:32:30 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116031,116031#msg-116031 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,116031,116031#msg-116031I spend my alone time with an imaginary female and what I could do for her.This is all quite odd because im 44 years old.!! I used to be attracted to men but They can hurt you so bad........anyway I missed one chance while at the airport last week.this woman Iwho was a hottie walked up to me and I looked at her hair at what she was wearing,and didnt say a damn thing.She had short hair but was still feminine.And she smelled good .So does anyone know where they go? Im kinda feminine myself and I like the thought of 2 females.........anyway I live in the detroit area,Im white,Im blonde at this point I should just be making some
new friends. At this point I dont care what other people think,maybe one sister would be looking down her nose...i really dont care anymore.This may make me really happy.There has to be a bar or club where people gather..Any ideas slip it to me ,please.Im not super old and I dont feel old.I'm actually a bit of a wild one.....I'll wait with baited breath!!]]> monstermommy Psychotherapy and CounselingTue, 17 Mar 2009 20:06:53 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,115638,115638#msg-115638 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,115638,115638#msg-115638
FindGroupTherapy.com is at
www.findgrouptherapy.com]]> mftcalifornia Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 08 Feb 2009 10:27:48 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,115371,115371#msg-115371 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,115371,115371#msg-115371
I dont want to type to much or too little to explain the problem Im sure a background is needed for my case as most should. But my immediate issue is that i have night insomnia followed by hypersomnia in the morning. I find it very difficult to rest my mind or even get tired. But when I do fall asleep (usually with not much of a problem) I sleep well threw the night, and can continue sleeping until more then 12 hours have passed. Its seriously effecting my career, which in turn effects my wellbeing. This has been a problem since I was young (even a baby according to my mother) Its as almost as if 24 hour clock does not apply to me. I seem to be on a 30 hour clock. I stay up for 16 hours, then sleep for 14. I have tried slowly changing my sleep times and such to no avail. The only thing that works best for me is if I have my girlfriend change all the clocks in the house ahead of time (or behind) in order to trick my mind. To help bring on sleep, my doctor has give me seraquil. It does make me sleepy, but severely enhances my hypersomnia in the morning(or should we say afternoon) I believe the best medication i have ever taken was valium. It makes me immediately sleepy and I can wake up very easily. But my doctor will not prescribe this for me because its not used for a sleep aide. I know also for a fact that it causes dependence. I have also tried Ambien which seems to be the worse of the 3 because it gives me severe headaches and I actually feel more tranquilized (10 times more) then a simple valium. I myself wish I could solve this issue without any "chemicals".

As for any reason I could explain for this problem i can only answer the following. I do not want to go to sleep because i am not tired, and am very into whatever i am working on. The later it is in the day, the better and more attention I give to my work. It is not uncommon for me to finish most of my projects around 3 am in the morning. On the opposite side, in the morning, i do not want to get up at alllll. I feel sleep is so peaceful. I honestly could put sleep as one of my top favorite things in life with food. Its almost as if it is an escape for me or a drug. You hallucinate (dreams), Your "high" or sedated as can be. You are anxiety free as well. That is of course if no nightmares of course but its very rare that I have those. Also, my girlfriend tells me when she tries to wake me up i say "leave me alone", " go away " and never remember saying any of these thins to her. She also tells me she uses this time to ask me questions about things that i normally would lie about and I always give her the truth at this time. Which entertainingly enough has been what her birthday present was, if im cheating on her (which im not) etc etc.

Anyway, thanks again for any feedback or response in advance.

Michael]]> mre227 Psychotherapy and CounselingThu, 12 Feb 2009 22:49:27 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,115330,115330#msg-115330 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,115330,115330#msg-115330
joycet]]> joycet Psychotherapy and CounselingThu, 12 Feb 2009 21:57:50 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114927,114927#msg-114927 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114927,114927#msg-114927
I had never heard of it before; it is apparently a nonprofit which advocates for mental health "consumers" statewide and locally and provides training for local advocacy groups and is an "advocacy agent" in statewide mental health policy processes (and legislation).

I have never before encountered a mental health organization oriented from the "consumer" standpoint. So it kind of "jumped out" at me (it was a "link" I had followed - you know how sometimes you do that and you forget where you even started). Apparently the organization was formed about 20 years ago (about 10 years after "de-institutionalization" in California - when mental health facilities were shut down and many were left to fend for themselves on the streets).

They cite as public policy priorities such things as (and I'm skipping a lot of them but trying to give a flavor):

"No expansion of forced treatment or involuntary outpatient commitment (my psych happens to agree that forced treatment is usually of little value and causes the patient to be reluctant to speak of certain things for fear of it - I don't disagree, so he and I have "non-fearful" discussions).

The need for mental health services that do no harm and protect and respect the rights of mental health clients.

Improved regulations of and rights protections in board and care homes.

The elimination of the use of involuntary restraints and seclusion.

Protection of the rights of, including the right to services, people with mental disabilities who are incarcerated (I can get behind that one big time - prisoners with mental health issues receive little or no treatment).

The need for social and rehabilitative community mental health services that address the real life needs for persons with psychiatric disabilities - affordable housing, income supports, jobs, friends, substance abuse issues

We are not reducible to biological entities or diagnosis; a pill, although helpful to many people, is not a magic bullet that can address these barriers to full community integration and social role.

Available and accessible voluntary mental health programs.

The promotion of work incentives and employment services and supports.

The promotion of peer-support and self-advocacy programs.

The need to end stereotyping and discrimination of people with psychiatric disabilities. (AMEN)!

The myth of the violent mental patient and the myth of lack of insight/competency, are part and parcel of the public's perception of us. These stereotypes interfere with our day to day inability to integrate into the mainstream society and deprive us of our dignity.

Overarching all of these principles is the need for our involvement in all decision-making of the mental health system as it directly affects our lives, on every level of policy making and program monitoring. Nothing About Us, Without Us. "

Having been personally and significantly affected by some of the stereotypes and discrimination, I can get behind some of those "principles."

Just curious if anyone has heard of, been involved with, etc. this group and what your experiences, thoughts about it are.............]]> Dini Psychotherapy and CounselingTue, 17 Mar 2009 20:19:27 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114864,114864#msg-114864 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114864,114864#msg-114864
So I'm starting a new thread for us, and for anyone else who wants to chime in on this subject!!

I'm going to start by listing my MAIN reasons for having faith that my health will be restored and my life will not end up being a recurrent nightmare of the past.

1. I am a lot better than I was last year at this time. While it's hard to remember when in the midst of a "pain storm" I have made a lot of physical progress and I have no reason to believe that I won't keep getting better.

2. In the last few months, I've found a whole new team of doctors and they really have helped me turn a significant corner.

3. I have a long road ahead, but it doesn't seem to involve more surgeries, and for that alone, I am very, very grateful.

4. I have a solid group of friends and family - among which I most certainly count my many SHM friends here B)

5. I have many other blessings in my life.

Ok, your turn!! What gives you hope and faith in your life??]]> Joanne Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 04 Jan 2009 21:45:15 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114615,114615#msg-114615 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114615,114615#msg-114615 TLM1969 Psychotherapy and CounselingThu, 27 Nov 2008 12:36:23 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114397,114397#msg-114397 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114397,114397#msg-114397
Is this forum a place where a matter like this can be discussed, or have I misunderstood the purpose of this forum?

Thank you in advance for any discussion that may help me to see the path I should take. Or must take, whether I feel it is right or not.

One last question, if you don't mind — is this the right sub-forum for this discussion?

Again, thank you.]]> confundere Psychotherapy and CounselingTue, 18 Nov 2008 15:30:09 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114017,114017#msg-114017 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,114017,114017#msg-114017
So if anyone can use it, (often those in an abusive relationship, or gone from one in which the stalker for whatever mad reason can't let go), the site is:

www.ESIA.net

While I hope nobody needs to check it out, I hope it is helpful to anyone who may need to take a look. I have found it useful.]]> Dini Psychotherapy and CounselingTue, 18 Nov 2008 15:44:44 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,113253,113253#msg-113253 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,113253,113253#msg-113253Sadly, it is, I just don't have the patience to just start my story from 20+ years ago.
Enjoy eachother, those of you that do communicate.]]> chronic1 Psychotherapy and CounselingSat, 06 Sep 2008 14:34:16 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,113246,113246#msg-113246 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,113246,113246#msg-113246 gg Psychotherapy and CounselingFri, 05 Sep 2008 21:29:15 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,113242,113242#msg-113242 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,113242,113242#msg-113242It always ends up way too long!
I have read some posts and it seems there are people who really want to help and support each other.
That is why I would like to communicate but I don't even know where to start!

I have dealt with depression for about 10 years. I have been on and off meds during that time.
I only started therapy last year. I love my therapist, she is great!
Unfortunately, even with meds and therapy I ended up in the hospital for "suicidal ideations".
I already had a lot of outside issues that caused my anxiety, and this event only started more.
Since then I have been through a terrible custody battle only to let my kids go. They have been given everything by their dad and stepmom and have been given the idea that "the grass will be greener". I basically felt I was fighting a losing battle because my kids said they wanted to go even if a Judge told them they had to stay.

My current husband and I have custody of his daughter because her mom went to prison (twice) and we have a son together. I am a stay at home mom. Basically, I feel extremely worthless and empty. I continue my meds and my therapy but I still struggle all the time. I remember telling the doctor at the hospital that I feel like depression is like cancer. It can go into remission but it is always there waiting to return. I am so sad. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this.

Any words would be appreciated!]]> chronic1 Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 01 Mar 2009 09:40:20 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112900,112900#msg-112900 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112900,112900#msg-112900
Then, I went to college. I didn't have a lot of friends. I just went to class and though I was friendly with everyone, I always found myself alone.

I went to work and I'm sure that everyone considered me a 'loner'.

Even though I had become friends with some guys, regular dating was not a part of my life.

Last year, I was at my mother's house. I asked to use her computer.

She was about to take a nap, so I was left at the computer alone.
I saw a receipt there for a something that she had bought for me. It had my name on the order form.

My curiousity was so high since it wasn't my birthday or a holiday or anything.

The book came and to my utter astonishment, MY NAME was on the front cover of the book! Then I opened it up and MY NAME was all throughout the book. It blew me away.

The thing is, it said all of these amazing short statements (I learned later that they are called affirmations). ABOUT ME! It was so cool.

I know a lot of people talk about religion or a book changed their life. However, this was no ordinary book. It was all about ME.

I've used it every day since. It is truly the best thing anyone has ever done for me. My life has changed because I changed how I felt about me.

I have a few great friends now. I enjoy going out (hated it before). And, I'm daing a wonderful man who seems to adore me. You have no idea how that feels after not every feeling that ever before.

The book is called Powerfirmations. Like 'power (af)firmations'. I love it!

I buy copies for other people now who I know can benefit from it. You can find it online.

I am so thankful to be in place where I like and truly do love myself now.

My heart goes out to so many women who I now realize, have felt just like I did.

Much love to all and always, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Michelle]]> inspire146 Psychotherapy and CounselingFri, 23 Jan 2009 14:58:15 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112790,112790#msg-112790 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112790,112790#msg-112790I'm a 27 years young (female) . And I would really like someone elses perspective on this.
I can't get along with my mother or my sister who by the way is 23.
Ever since I can remember there has been this clash of personalities, of way of thinking , the way we react to situations.
We just don't get along. And I'm tired of faking.
Now, lets get this clear. i in no way want them to see things the way I see them, feel them or understand them.
But they love poisoning me with their words.
Wich by the way they don't say to me, they talk behind my back (little sister tells me)
For example. I buy my childrens clothes at Walmart or second hand.
My mother and sister give me a punch in the stomach with their loving words "Why don't you buy them clothes from the mall?" "dont you have money?" Its not even a money issue to me. I don't even bother telling them that I am saving money by not buying at the mall. They don't understand.

But ...uggh.Its difficult for me to explain how they act.
Stuff like this has been going on since way back. I'm tired of it. I wish I could tell them to shut the hell up, I'm not part of their "socialite class" that they imagine theirselves in.
And to top it off, I honestly don't like people with that personality....."classy" "stuck up" "ignorant" "people that see everyone else as insignificants".
My mom and my sister are both identical personalities, identical thinkers, acters, doers, everything.
This can go on ...... forever.

Jealous of my sister you ask. Well, Yes! Becuase i'm excluded from the family. This is what I see my mom, my two sisters and my dad.

I"m out, I'm a loner.

My dad. whole other topic He has been an alcoholic for the past twenty something years. and doesn't admit to it. Never has.
Physically abused my mom. But you know the thing that I don't understand .... is why my mom would refuge behind me. As if I were to make my dad stop hitting her, I was around four, five. Not sure what age. We've called the police on him more than once more than twice.... nothing seemed to work.
When I ran away from home I was still involved in this crap. I had to go from one side of town to the other when my mom would call crying histerically to get my dad to stop hitting her. I never understood why I went. Why didn't she just call the police....again.
I would be the one to bail him from jail...more than once.
I am the one he calls when he needed someone to get his @#$%& out of trouble when he did a drunk hit and run.
I am the only one he ever seems to think about that can always get him out of any trouble.
And I haven't put a damn stop to it.

I love my husband of eight years and our two sons.
But my mind is so overtaken by my "non family" that I can't enjoy mine.]]> linzi Psychotherapy and CounselingThu, 11 Sep 2008 18:06:07 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112547,112547#msg-112547 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112547,112547#msg-112547
I am new (obviously) and am having some issues with my new job.

I've been there now for a month and a half. Been doing very well with the customers, processing orders, shipping and questions.

My downfall is ordering product and communicating effectively with the owner.

The communication is completely out of character for me, it was at first little things like not sending him an email right away or something of the similar. This time it turn really bad.

Previously, I was working the "new person" bumps out and paving the way to being an excellent employee.

i ordered product that i thought we needed right away... He doesn't like orders being held for shipments.

He asked me to get the pricing, and said he is sure i can make a good call.

So from that I thought that was the OK.

This was weds.

I made the order.

Then on Friday he comes in the office and the last thing he said to me was wait another week or two to order this.

I was already flustered because I had misplaced a piece of paper (that turned out I shredded it which is good) and for a moment I thought I didn't order the product.

The Friday I came home and realized I did order it, and I was totally screwed.

I emailed him today and told him. I should have told him i think i ordered it weds, but I didn't, wasn't thinking, was acting out of fear and now I look 10 times worse.

I just want to be perfect at my job, and its back firing...

This is making me wonder if I am what he is looking for. My last job for the first 6 months was terrible, but after that I turned out to be one of the best employees the company had. I love this new job so much, but at the same time my anxiety level is super high and I am worried about failing myself, the owner, and his company. Maybe this is just the fear talking, maybe I am not cut out to run a business by myself. I just don't know, and these questions are frustrating to me because that is just it, I don't know. In that I don't want to fail.

If anyone can share advice, past stories, or anything I would surely appreciate all of the attention.

Thank you.]]> JenelleK Psychotherapy and CounselingTue, 09 Sep 2008 14:38:19 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112497,112497#msg-112497 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?73,112497,112497#msg-112497
I don't know what to do, I feel like my trust was broken and she feels that too. I am very angry over whole thing, I am unable to express but I think she risked too much for little gain in this case no gain. I want to forgive her but it is so hard. She does not communicate her feelings that well. She is right now scared about whole thought of working and talking to men in general.
My hate in my heart is not going away but right now I am not expressing my anger to her as she is in very sensitive situation I don't want her to hurt herself.

Please help me understand her and what can she do to understand me and gain back my trust.

Thanks,
Sum]]> summer10021 Psychotherapy and CounselingSun, 21 Sep 2008 05:20:44 -0700