Start Here - General Bulletin Boardhttp://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/list.php?121Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:40:22 -0800 Phorum 5.2.7 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117232,117232#msg-117232 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117232,117232#msg-117232Astrology Psychic Readings Astrology Readings Natal
The the poop indeed of the business is, we've had 5000 years to focus the science of astrology. If it didn't work, it would not be so popular 3000 years after it's creation!]]> Antejethitciz AnnouncementsWed, 09 Sep 2009 16:46:07 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117231,117231#msg-117231 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117231,117231#msg-117231Astrology Extrasensory Readings Astrology Readings Natal
The incident of the subject is, we've had 3000 years to perfect the information of astrology. If it didn't slog away, it would not be so well-received 5745 years after it's birth!]]> dardFoxia AnnouncementsWed, 09 Sep 2009 14:37:18 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117106,117106#msg-117106 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117106,117106#msg-117106
I dropped in tonight and noticed something I don't often see around here. There are several messages by people who seem to want to find subjects or research participants, or whatnot and also a bunch of ads from a person who goes by 'sarahbrown'. She is plugging some treatment center.

I have read your rules file and I know that both those activities are forbidden on this site.

Just thought maybe you get these 'Announcement' messages and not others from all the forums, so I just want to be a good SHM citizen and let you know there are some rule-breakers roaming around the forums.

Kaleb]]> Kaleb AnnouncementsWed, 26 Aug 2009 08:24:56 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117045,117045#msg-117045 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,117045,117045#msg-117045 dogluvgirl AnnouncementsFri, 24 Jul 2009 12:15:40 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116909,116909#msg-116909 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116909,116909#msg-116909
I also feel pretty strongly about this so I'm going to let it rip and ask a favor, and I hope that in asking this favor I am helping out the SHM'ers and Dr. Maheu who pour their hearts and souls and lots of time into making this place the sweet place it is for us.

OK, so I've been on a bit of a hiatus. While I was gone, I've notice a HUGE increase in the number of unwanted links and ads, which by the way, are often "phishing" - you click the link, you've just given out your contact info (though SHM protects that) and some person gets their two cents for delivering your email addy or whatever. It's turned such sites as Craigslist, even in the "furniture" or "job search" departments into cesspools. It is literally a web epidemic.

I am absolutely struck, as I go through the threads today, at the number of such "links" contained in the forums. I have NO PROBLEM WHATSOVER with advertising on SHM; but when it is slipped into links in supposed "posts" in the forums I think it has two effects, neither of which is beneifical (and this is assuming they are actual ads and not just phishing) - one is, somebody just slipped an ad in and didn't pay the frieight for it; if SHM is going to give someone a platform for an ad, in my humble opinion SHM has every right to and should be paid for it, it helps support this community and the good work of Dr. Maheu and the SHM'ers. Secondly, I have seen SO MANY of them today I can't help but think that it has a detrimental effect upon someone first visiting the community forums; if I were looking for the first time today and saw the number of links and ads or phishing trips or whatever they are posted in the forums I"ve seen today, I might not realize what kind of community this is and might not come back.

So this is really just a plea for us all to help the SHM'ers protect both their ability to control any advertising on the site, be paid for it if appropriate and for us to protect the sanctity of the community forums themselves. Phishers and "linkers" have become increasingly adriot at spewing alogrihym that "fits" a site and makes it difficult to screen out. Those algorithyms change on a daily basis. It's the game of scammers.

So I would urge each of us, as member of this community, to hit that REPORT button without hesitation EACH AND EVERY TIME you see one of these phishing or ad links embedded in a community forum "post." They really aren't difficult to distinguish from a legitimate link one member is passing along. It's got to be impossible for the staffers to keep up with it, and perhaps we can help them, help protect the SHM advertising revenue and help protect OUR forums, by doing so.

I would add that I feel this way no matter if the link is legitimate (for instance, there are a slew of them in the Drugs and Alcohol forum for rehab outfits; they may be legit, but a community forum "post" is not, IMHO, the place for them, and if they were to be engaging in the "rigorous honesty" required of sobriety, they ought to, IMHO opinion, act like it and go the legit route to post an ad on this site.

I feel that it's up to us to step up and protect this ground, and help out the SHM'ers who do so much for us. And the problem seems to be getting worse and worse (on all websites; not just this one).

If I am out of line with this request, someone please just tell me or delete this post.

Thanks.....]]> Dini AnnouncementsTue, 07 Jul 2009 08:26:56 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116744,116744#msg-116744 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116744,116744#msg-116744[color=#FF00CC]Hello everyone, I am new as of this day to the site and I decided to register to check out much better all the awesome features here, so I look forward to meeting other members, hopefully other moms in my shoes, people who can give helpful ideas and advice, and I also hope to bring in some help too, to those that may need and want it. Basics: I am a 31 yr old single female mom to a 10 yr old boy.. and we live in tropical central america ...! Sooooo looking forward to knowing more from everyone, and to enrichen my life as well .- See ya .- [/color]]]> CapricornSingleMom AnnouncementsMon, 19 Oct 2009 12:34:39 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116560,116560#msg-116560 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116560,116560#msg-116560
As you can see, we've been working to improve the website. We want to bring it up to date because we will be celebrating our 15th year this November 1st! B)X(We are preparing it for even more exciting developments to soon appear.

We want to take a breather at this point and just ask you for feedback. We have prepared a survey and would appreciate your dropping in to let us know what you like and don't like. It is to be found at this address: Click Here

As a member of our community - you help shape us more than any other force. Your opinions and views are appreciated and taken more seriously than you might imagine. After all, if it were not for you, we would simply be a dormant library. With you, we are vibrant, alive and continually growing community.

Please take a few minutes to give us all your thoughts right now - good or bad, happy or sad. We want to know what we do right, wrong and any ideas you have for how we can improve.

We strive every day to live up to your trust in us. Tell us how we can make things better for you here at SHM!

As Always Yours,

SHMERs]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsTue, 28 Jul 2009 09:08:19 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116282,116282#msg-116282 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116282,116282#msg-116282
Thank you!!!!!!!!! (tu)

And fantastic job - this place just gets better and better thanks to you folks!! X(

Grazi !!]]> Dini AnnouncementsTue, 21 Apr 2009 16:32:05 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116105,116105#msg-116105 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116105,116105#msg-116105
As the developer of the most prominent counseling directory in Vancouver, British Columbia I have recently added an option that allows counselors (counsellors is actually the Canadian spelling) to add a small audio or video to their listing so that people can see and/or hear them in addition to reading about them and their backgrounds.

I realize that this idea is relatively new. As with anything new it is interesting to note how people react to the concept.

Do you feel that having an audio or video with a professional listing is something that would help you (if you were a potential client) make a better decision? If so, why?

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Presently the site does have a few audio/video profiles on it but most professionals have not yet "taken the plunge".

Jeffrey Fisher, M.A., RCC

Professional Counselor and Website Developer:

Counselling and Psychologist Directory in British Columbia]]> counsellingcanada AnnouncementsSun, 05 Jul 2009 13:47:03 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116013,116013#msg-116013 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,116013,116013#msg-116013 monstermommy AnnouncementsSun, 05 Jul 2009 13:43:33 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,115752,115752#msg-115752 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,115752,115752#msg-115752
XXXGregg]]> Gregg AnnouncementsThu, 26 Feb 2009 22:30:27 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114892,114892#msg-114892 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114892,114892#msg-114892
Thank you, Dr. Maheu and you "dahling SHM'ers"........heheee.....yet another well thought out and useful work of love and devotion on your part which is much appreciated by myself. Many thanks for your efforts and creativity. You folks have been hard at work and it is work well done and really shows and is appreciated.

With gratitude. (:D]]> Dini AnnouncementsFri, 28 Nov 2008 11:21:56 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114859,114859#msg-114859 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114859,114859#msg-114859
As I now live in Turkey I find it a bit difficult to approach a doctor here with this subject.

I look forward to your response

Yours hopefully

Jean Painter]]> poppet4 AnnouncementsFri, 28 Nov 2008 11:14:59 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114759,114759#msg-114759 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114759,114759#msg-114759
We apologize for the broken search function. We just found it now and wonder how long this has been down. If any of you have an idea, drop us a line.

We suspect it might date back to when the tables were destroyed a few weeks ago, but we can't be sure, Your help in tracking the time line would be very beneficial, if you can recall when it was last working.

We used it no more than 2 months ago. Thank you.

SHM Staff]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsMon, 24 Nov 2008 13:01:39 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114743,114743#msg-114743 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114743,114743#msg-114743
We've re-organized again! Please forgive the re-locations.

We try to follow your lead and create forums that get traffic. We also integrating forums that don't get much attention into those that do.

We've deleted the Wellness forum and moved its contents to the New Health, Recipes & Sleep Forum. If you are following a thread in the Wellness Forum, you will find it in the New Health, Recipes & Sleep Forum.

We've also started a forum for Books & Movies. Many people seem quite interested in hearing about self-help books and movies, so we thought we've give the title a chance and see what pops up. We've taken the liberty of re-locating some of the discussions from the Open Chat forum to this new forum. You will find re-direct links to help get you from one place to another.

Ditto on the Jobs, Career and Work front. Since many people are looking for work or dealing with serious work issues right now, we thought we'd give you space to inspire each other.

If you'd like to suggest another topic, let us know what you want and we'll try it!

If anyone would be willing to moderate our newly formed forums, please let us know! We need someone for the Book/Movies as well as the Jobs Forums.

And if you have any comments, pro or against our changes, please let us know. We are here to serve you, and do that best when you comment. (tu)

Your Dedicated SHM Staff B)]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsMon, 24 Nov 2008 11:24:40 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114494,114494#msg-114494 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114494,114494#msg-114494
I can't believe it has taken me so long to see the donation boxes you have on this website. Of course you need funds to keep you going. After coming here so many, many times, (thousands) when I've been in utter despair, looking to sit down (or lie down, as the case may be) with familiar people or familiar problems to get a sense of belonging and hoping that "this too shall pass", I can't believe it never occurred to me to give you something.

I am almost ashmaed to say it, but it took your being unavailable for a week for me to realize how I literally have given you NOTHING to keep you running. 8-)

Geeesh - I give my postal carrier $50 at Christmas for carrying my mail, and while he's a nice guy, he already gets a salary and has hundreds of people who give him holiday gifts.

But what do I give you? Nada. Nothing. Rien. Pfttt.

Why is that?

Seriously, what's wrong with me? Am I alone? If you others have been donating and being quiet about it, please tell me. I just can't believe I've been so self-centered. :S

So then I looked for the donation thingie you have on the homepage, and it is gone. I don't mean to be critical, but what are you people thinking? Really, you ought to consider putting it back up there. Just my humble opinion. (BTW, those donation boxes seem to be at the end of the articles in the articles department, linked off the homepage.)

I hope this one comes through because sometimes the links I paste in here are disabled for some strange reason (also not meant to be a criticism):
[www.selfhelpmagazine.com]

Is it that you ask so quietly that I didn't hear the plea? Or is it that when I come here, the donation box isn't in the forum? Or am I so focused on me and my own self that I don't even give a second thought to you who developed and maintain this place on a daily basis?

Honestly, I am quite embarrassed and would love to hear from others here.

Well, whatever is going on, I've rectified my ways and made a donation tonight. I hope that in some small way, my donation can help offset some of your costs for fixing whatever virus some evil person planted here. That is something I can get really upset about, people so mindless that they willingly destroy what you've (and we've) worked so hard and so long to build.

I really, really thank you for being here.

BIG HUGS,
Jo]]> Joanne AnnouncementsFri, 21 Nov 2008 10:45:44 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114470,114470#msg-114470 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114470,114470#msg-114470
If this past week's virus problem has caused any of you dismay, we seriously apologize, yet would like to hear from you.

While we couldn't have done anything more than what we did to fix the recurring problems, we want to give you this space to voice your concerns, hear your suggestions, or simply tell us what the experience was like for you.

We'll start.

For us, it was hell. Every time we managed to get a message up to tell you the forums were out of order, the virus would come back and eat that, too. That's why we're happy to see things are working now, but want to ask you to make copies of anything important here for your own records.

SHM Staff]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsWed, 05 Nov 2008 23:53:26 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114468,114468#msg-114468 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114468,114468#msg-114468
We're having server problems, so for your own protection, please make a copy of the important messages you leave here. We cannot promise your information won't be lost.

Sometimes people leave comments without investing much time or energy in them. Other times, someone might pour their heart and soul into a message. Whatever is important to you, copy and paste it into a document and save onto your own hard drive if you want to be sure you'll see it later.

---

To copy without using your keyboard, right click on your mouse. The copy/paste functions ought to appear.

To use the keyboard with a PC, place your cursor in the middle of the page to be copied, click Control A, then Control C. Then open notepad or any word processing program, put your cursor in the middle of an opened page in that program, and click Control V. It all ought to drop right into your new document.

---

We thank you for being part of this community, and for the many messages we received while we were down.

Sincerely,

SHM Staff]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsThu, 06 Nov 2008 23:22:06 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114462,114462#msg-114462 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114462,114462#msg-114462
Didn't realize how much I miss this joint when it's not open!

(Hehee.....praise be to middle-aged bladders and forgetting to turn off the computer or I wouldn't have noticed till much later.......).

Thanks ya'll - X(]]> Dini AnnouncementsTue, 04 Nov 2008 07:08:04 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114252,114252#msg-114252 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,114252,114252#msg-114252

Very, very cool. And Dr. Maheu, you have a very warm and reassuring presence. Thanks for sharing yourself (even more than you already do) in this way. (We who cling to this life-raft will have to get you that SHM'er T-shirt and cap for your next "appearance".......I mean, it is wonderful but you are "out of uniform"....hehee).]]> Dini AnnouncementsSun, 16 Nov 2008 14:45:10 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,113979,113979#msg-113979 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,113979,113979#msg-113979I still have good work ethics but I take off more to rest and get away from the negativity in the office.

My issue with my boss is that, I feel he doesn't respect me. When I talk to him he rushes what I have to say or he rolls his eyes. Then he tells me to hurry up.

The other day I had the same conversation once with him and once with another manager. The conversation with my boss got loud and heated and he didn't want to hear anything just blame me for not doing his job for him. The other manager understood what I was saying the how to resolve the problem my boss and other managers are having with a new software system.

My boss would rather blame me than listen to a resolution and bring the possible solution to a staff meeting to discuss.

Now he wants to talk to me. When I go to him to say did he want to talk it's always not now. He's either reading his newspaper or has 2 hours prior to a meeting which he says isn't enough time for the talk he wants to have with me.

Maybe I should just stop caring so much.

I have hundreds of hours of leave and when I put in for leave he gets mad and doesn't talk to me the day before I take off and 3 days after my return.

I am 56 years old and planning to retire next July because I don't want stress in my life anymore. I never realized how easy it is to get diagnosed with stress related cancer.]]> ddallas AnnouncementsThu, 22 Oct 2009 05:42:31 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,113262,113262#msg-113262 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,113262,113262#msg-113262
I'm wondering if I (we) might be able to do a better job helping new people join this community. It seems like a lot of people aren't realistic about what we can do with 10 or 15 words, or don't realize that if they mention really serious things without getting known first that people might not respond.

What if we came up with a sort of FAQ for newbies who don't know how to get started here?

I'd be willing to start a list of things I'd think might be helpful. I'll start it here with the hope that other people will add to it.

Here's what I'd be more apt to respond to in a post from a new person:

1. A short note that covers a lot of basics and also describes the current problem. Maybe like 3 paragraphs to describe these things:

how old you are
what country you live in
gender
marital status
number of children if any
financial situation
history of abuse (any kind)
3-4 sentences about what event in their life made them post today

2. If they've ever been in therapy and how it went if they were

3. If they have friends/family in their lives who support them

4. If they use drugs or alcohol on a regular basis for anything, including prescription meds

Ok, that's it! That's my wish list for posts from new people :)

Please help me figure this out because I don't want people to be frustrated if they don't get the answers they expect right away.

Jo]]> Joanne AnnouncementsFri, 12 Sep 2008 12:27:36 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,113172,113172#msg-113172 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,113172,113172#msg-113172
Thank you for the absolutely wonderful jobs you all do around this website, everywhere. I am proud to have been coming here for almost a decade now and will do my part to support you as best I can, in any way I can.

Appreciatively,

Lily]]> Lily AnnouncementsFri, 12 Sep 2008 12:18:28 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,112943,112943#msg-112943 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,112943,112943#msg-112943
We are looking for a Volunteer Moderator for each forum. Existing and established members of this community will be given preference over newbies, but newbies are encouraged to apply nonetheless. We have many forums to cover.

Moderators will be asked to enforce our rules. In essence, if someone doesn't follow the rules, the new Moderator will report the infraction to us, and we take action. After being in training for 3 months, the Moderator will be given the power to delete messages immediately, and report afterwards.

Deletions are not done without careful consideration, or for personal reasons. Reports of each deletion (original post and reason for deletion) will always need to be submitted to Dr. Maheu.

If you'd like to volunteer, please drop a message here and someone will contact you. Be sure to mention which forum(s) you'd like to moderate.

Your help in keeping our forums clear of spam and trouble-makers is greatly appreciated.]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsMon, 24 Nov 2008 12:55:07 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,112464,112464#msg-112464 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,112464,112464#msg-112464
This place has changed and all in good ways.

Thanks for making Home even better!

Jimmy]]> Jimmy AnnouncementsMon, 25 Aug 2008 13:52:21 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,112087,112087#msg-112087 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,112087,112087#msg-112087
Our Discussion Community has just weathered another storm and we now finally managed to get things going again. We want to thank you all for your patience with us as we work feverishly behind the scenes to make this old ship sea worthy again.

To give you a glimpse into what's happening, we want you to know that Dr. Maheu is outfitting us for travels to new lands. We will probably see some rough seas ahead, but oh, those beautiful new vistas are worth it!

In other words, you will be seeing many changes. Please use this space to keep us informed of what you do and don't like. You input is most important to us.

SHM Staff]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsSun, 31 Aug 2008 09:23:42 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111884,111884#msg-111884 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111884,111884#msg-111884
So if you're walking down the street sometime
and you should spot some hollow ancient eyes,
don't you pass them by and stare
as if you didn't care.

Say, "Hello in there. Hello."

- Bette Midler (song and lyrics by John Prine)]]> Lily AnnouncementsTue, 09 Sep 2008 19:37:22 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111863,111863#msg-111863 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111863,111863#msg-111863
Thanks for maintaining the house for those of us who find shelter within it.

Your many efforts are both noticed and very much appreciated.

Many thanks. (:D]]> Dini AnnouncementsSat, 30 Aug 2008 23:28:26 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111307,111307#msg-111307 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111307,111307#msg-111307
We just got off the phone with our host and they are going to move us to a whole new server, and basically give us a new home. If you tried accessing us yesterday and couldn't, this is part of the problem why we had trouble with the PHORUM upgrade and had to shut the entire forum down. With the new home, they claim we'll be error free.

We should be done with the transfer by tomorrow (Monday) morning, but meanwhile, you might not have access to us again for a few hours. We just want to give you a little advance notice this time.

Thank you for hanging in here with us. You are the best community we could ever hope for, and it is our pleasure to serve you!

SHM Staff]]> SHM Staff AnnouncementsSun, 11 May 2008 11:51:17 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111197,111197#msg-111197 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?121,111197,111197#msg-111197
The email I recieved back asked that if in a few weeks I was still having the problem, to let you know. So, I thought I'd let you know this is still a problem; not as a "complaint" but as a help to you as I was asked to do so.

Where do you folks find the time? I hope some of you are getting your beauty sleep. I do very much appreciate your work and efforts and the opportunity it affords folks like myself to benefit so much from this site.]]> Dini AnnouncementsMon, 25 Aug 2008 14:00:40 -0700