Exploring ideas with new friends or getting re-aquainted with old SHM friends.http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/list.php?112Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:56:03 -0800 Phorum 5.2.7 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117467,117467#msg-117467 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117467,117467#msg-117467
Just wanted to say Happy Veteran's Day. You know I have nothing but respect for our vets and active duty soldiers. You have my gratitude and I could not let the day go by without saying so.

I live in a tiny tiny town but they had a ceremony this morning for the vets - it was very nice and I saw a lot of young people there. Made me feel good to see that.


Annette]]> Annette Open Chat for SocializingWed, 11 Nov 2009 12:17:07 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117350,117350#msg-117350 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117350,117350#msg-117350 Moe Open Chat for SocializingThu, 22 Oct 2009 05:26:55 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117317,117317#msg-117317 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117317,117317#msg-117317 Moe Open Chat for SocializingMon, 26 Oct 2009 05:46:23 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117310,117310#msg-117310 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117310,117310#msg-117310[img]http://graphics.pop6.com/banners/getiton/18580_728x90.jpg[/img]
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Alternative medicine is habitually based on the opinion that a precisely well-being regimen has successful effects even while there isn't a heart of clue to endure such a security under the control of the rigorous standards of evidence based medicine. In preparation, alternative medicament encompasses therapies with a factual or cultural, to some extent than a well-regulated, basis. Commonly cited examples incorporate naturopathy, chiropractic, herbalism, historic Chinese medication, Unani, Ayurveda, meditation, yoga, biofeedback, hypnosis, homeopathy, acupuncture, and diet-based therapies, in appendage to a gamut of other practices. It is repeatedly grouped with complementary medicine, which superficially refers to the anyway interventions when used in conjunction with mainstream techniques, supervised the umbrella entitle complementary and alternate medicament, or CAM. Some informative researchers in different Subliminal CDs pharmaceutical against this grouping, preferring to stress differences of approach, but in any event object the term CAM, which has evolve into flag Healing Herbs pharmaceutical]]> Trietleintade Open Chat for SocializingSat, 10 Oct 2009 22:44:39 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117292,117292#msg-117292 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117292,117292#msg-117292

Is the recession over in the U.S? Some say that the world might go into yet another recession.]]> Moe Open Chat for SocializingTue, 13 Oct 2009 12:43:09 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117262,117262#msg-117262 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,117262,117262#msg-117262 Gregg Open Chat for SocializingSun, 01 Nov 2009 10:19:30 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116770,116770#msg-116770 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116770,116770#msg-116770
I salute you.]]> Dini Open Chat for SocializingWed, 19 Aug 2009 16:49:46 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116760,116760#msg-116760 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116760,116760#msg-116760

Dear Friends,

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In order to gain the most insight into these two topics, we would like to collect as much information as possible, so your participation is not only greatly appreciated but also valuable. Your participation in this study will take approximately 30 minutes of your time and is done entirely on-line by answering questionnaires. The questionnaires can be accessed by clicking on the link below:

[www.surveymonkey.com]

All information collected is anonymous and you will not be asked for identifying information at any time. You may choose to create an I.D. (3 letters and 2 numbers) in order to receive your personal results of the survey. The results are not intended to serve as a professional clinical diagnosis.

Your participation is greatly appreciated and I thank you for your time and the valuable information. Please forward this e-mail to anyone that may be interested in participating in this study.

Best regards,
a]]> alex12345 Open Chat for SocializingSat, 23 May 2009 23:44:23 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116504,116504#msg-116504 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116504,116504#msg-116504A lil background: Im a medical student. I'm among the top students at my school. Now im not one of the more geeky, book-worm kind. Not at all (though i still manage to ace the exams). Im into sports, public speaking (won a national award), bodybuilding, chess, video games etc etc. The reason why im here is that the things seem to have gone a bit slack. It's like im being careless with my time. I procrastinate a lot. If i start something, i leave it unfinished. I plan a lot but somehow end up getting "sidetracked" by something. Im able to keep myself absolutely motivated for like 10 days before things get chaotic again. To put it short, im a guy who's got all the talent in the world, who knows he needs to work harder, who knows time is money, but somehow is letting that time go to waste. I wanna push the limits. I wanna realize my true potential. I wanna excel (gee, im getting motivated writing all this :p).

Help me start working hard again. My main problem is i waste my time on stupid useless things a lot n spend less time with my med books.

thanks in advance.

R.]]> phoenix123 Open Chat for SocializingSun, 18 Oct 2009 01:26:20 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116350,116350#msg-116350 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116350,116350#msg-116350selfhelpmagazine.com] to find an article and was shocked to see yet another color and look to the homepage.

I get the impression that the SHMers are working on something for us.

Has anyone heard anything?]]> Lily Open Chat for SocializingSat, 22 Aug 2009 14:15:05 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116126,116126#msg-116126 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,116126,116126#msg-116126Whatever the cause, I am seeking some advice from anyone who's had treatment for this.

Thanks in Advance, Lizzie]]> lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingWed, 25 Mar 2009 13:09:41 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115890,115890#msg-115890 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115890,115890#msg-115890
A bar regular is the worst, but most with definition behind it. I've told alchy aquaintances of my thoughts on this, they nod, then return to the same bar for more abuse, both physical and psychological. Ya know the theme song to Cheers, about everyone wants others to know their name? It's true in bars. Most bar hoppies will not leave their favorite watering hole and attend another across the street. Perhaps other bars are better for them, but they won't go. A bar regular views a bar as home. It's a better home than the one he lives in. Why is that?

A lot has to do with libations (booze), and state of being which takes on a fantasy world with faces he's used to seeing. Like the bartender, cocktail waitress, the slut, the other drunks, and knowing each persons life and story. Sometimes in our real home, we know nothing about our own family, like we know the bar regulars lives. Many bar regulars live lonely lives, perhaps not in real time like their job, but mentally they are alone. A bar hookup is a happy home filled with time off or a vacation atmosphere. You have the beer neon signs you know so well.

Then there is always the stray person or persons who enter your regular bar. They are outsiders who have entered something you are familiar with, and they not. It gives a bar regular stature, much like a newbie boot soldier coming to the front lines. You are the salty vet, they are newbie nothings. That in part is why bar regulars do not leave their fav watering hole.

The problem that I have relayed to my boozy bar regular acquaintence's is this: It's not a good thing. I'm not talking about the regular alcohol problem, but being too known in one place. You become a joke in the eyes of the other regulars and they take advantage of that. They've seen you plastered, they never forget when you took home that less that hot lady with teeth missing. They know more about you than your family or co-workers. Therefore, you become a bore, a tired man whose a barfly, bar slut, and nothing more. Your only contribution is all the booze you drink down and the tab you run up. Eventually, even the lush with no teeth will not go home with you. You must find a way to be mysterious in bars, a new man, something unique and enter new frontiers across the street, then down the street.

Is this not true in many things, beside bar regulars?

Gregg]]> Gregg Open Chat for SocializingMon, 16 Mar 2009 07:14:27 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115691,115691#msg-115691 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115691,115691#msg-115691
Although this is certainly convenient for everyone, it sure seems mighty impersonal and just plain weird and there's no roast beef and Budweiser. My traditional beliefs have yet to catch up to the 21st century.

Anyone else ever attended a cyber reunion?]]> lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingThu, 26 Mar 2009 16:17:44 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115656,115656#msg-115656 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115656,115656#msg-115656
We still have about 3 weeks to plan and more games to be played, but check it out. It's one of the more exciting tournaments in sports. It's a combo of Glory and Heartbreak Hotel. It brings together the finest teams in the land, and football is constantly considering a similar package. Unlike football, you have a true College champ in basketball.

Ggg]]> Gregg Open Chat for SocializingThu, 05 Nov 2009 04:38:35 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115182,115182#msg-115182 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115182,115182#msg-115182
Spirituality: The Poly Raid in Texas and what's right and wrong. Religious Cults. And who can forget Stuck's Glory Days thread? It was a slow year for religion. Rose and her doilies lit it up from years past. King James took a back seat to news of the day in Spirits. And where did the Koran guy go?

Sex and Relationships: You'd have to mention Divorce by Christen and Trust by Heather, the friendly VFW bartender in a pretty blouse. Sex in a Marriage had some worthwhile dialog. Affair by Chuck is a good one. Witholding Sex by Sandra is a continuous saga. My own personal fav, which was pushed further than Dappo expected by Gregg and lizzie's contribution, was his wife left alone with his buddy at a beer party.

Open Chat: Let's give it to Mary's boob job and new wardrobe, tube top in a jacket at work. heh, heh.

Health: lizzie is the guru there. recipes and fresh water with Manhattan Style Clam Chowder. Who can ever forget Latin Lasagne by lizzie? Maybe Gregg's soul food and chili pan was a stretch for health?

And many noteworthy contributors, Joanne, Dini, Annette, Lily, Manuel, Frank, and has anyone seen Sherwood lately? Never forget Jimmy, and his pal Marty Kleine, the flaming liberal who has some interesting ideas.

Gregg]]> Gregg Open Chat for SocializingWed, 15 Apr 2009 15:33:50 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115171,115171#msg-115171 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115171,115171#msg-115171
The problem here is the invitation to mediocrity, not excellence with a football. Teams with avg records are invited. In other words, they lost as many as they won. Notre Dame said they would never go with less than a winning record, but did this year because of a long drought and everyone else does it. They said they needed the extra game to build on next year? What about the coveted Hawaii Bowl trophy? They're not the only ones, Louisiana Tech beat N. Illinois last night in the Independence Bowl. Does anyone other than a conniseur like Gregg know anything about them? N. Ill's mascot is the Huskies.

I remember when the important Bowl games came with meaning and worked for on New Years Day. The Cotton, the Sugar, the Orange and the grandaddy, the Rose. They've all lost clout because of the oversaturation during the Holidays. Everyone is invited to the big party these days. It's for the almighty Uni buck and other programs. They're having trouble selling this year to all of them because of the recession. But they have trouble anyways because of mediocrity vs mediocrity.

The big Championship game this year is the Orange Bowl in Miami. Even the selection of these two is questionable, it's computerized. Still no playoff system, so they are the Chosen Ones, each with a loss, but others are undefeated and with one loss also. Even for a conniseur this gets old. I miss the early morning parade and the Grandaddy of them all when it meant something.

Ggg]]> Gregg Open Chat for SocializingSat, 07 Feb 2009 13:37:37 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115102,115102#msg-115102 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115102,115102#msg-115102 FreudTV Open Chat for SocializingSun, 04 Jan 2009 22:35:30 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115049,115049#msg-115049 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,115049,115049#msg-115049interviewing with the gal from human resources the conversation came up about
surgeries. I told her about my breast augmentation and explained that I thought
it would be helpful when talking with other woman and patients considering it or any
other surgery as well.

Well, the human resource gal told everyone I had a boob job, including the receptionist
who proceeded to tell the entire physical therapy department who whispered it to the
next person at our Christmas party a few days ago!!!!

Not only did they whisper it, they did it right in front of me and I could still hear them!

The human resource gal who hired me was sitting across from me at the Christmas Party when we had a dinner
the other night out at a restaurant, and right in front of me she whispered
it in the woman's ear right next to her that I had a boob job.....

.....The next thing I knew they were all staring at my chest!!!!
I was mortified!
The only reason I mentioned it in the interview to her in private was because I figured she would know then that I would be a good candidate for that position
because I had already experienced surgery and could help answer questions about the surgery.....

... then again tonight at work we had another x-mas party in the office and another woman was whispering in the physical therapists
ear telling him I had a bob job and not to tell any one!
I could hear everything that was said. And then they stared at my chest and laughed. You know it would not bother me if I even knew these people and if it was my choice to tell the whole flipping office building, but I don't even know these freaking people and I just started this job not even a week ago.

I dress very professional and you can not tell I had a boob job at all.
They are pretty small 34 c and I never wear anything tight, and always wear blazers and suites. I am so nice to eveyone...I am just sad about this and want to quit. I need some advice quick because I am just so upset and fuming mad!!!!]]> Miss Mary Open Chat for SocializingSun, 24 May 2009 00:28:20 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114648,114648#msg-114648 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114648,114648#msg-114648
Recently was listening to a couple of "old-timers" from the north coast relate tales of their childhoods. Apparently back then most families had little campsites along some of the rivers which were leased at something like $20 a year from the logging companies. Families would spend all summer there - Pops going to work at the mill or whatever and returning in the evening. Cooking and heat by campfire/woodstove of course. So cutting some wood was part of the deal.

One guy's pops pulled out the chainsaw one day and grabbed the brothers for some sawing and splitting. Of course, they just wanted to go swimming in the river or fishing or whatever and considered this a real downer to their summer day but apparently pops was a force to be reckoned with and ya didn't argue with dear old dad. So they're standing around while pops fires up the chainsaw. Time after time he yanks on the cord and nothing happens. He's getting more and more annoyed and redder and redder in the face. He finally gives it one mighty yank, the whole dang chainsaw flies out of his strong workman's hands in a gorgeous arc through the air and lands smack in the river........ AND IT HAD STARTED!!!! Heheee......It drowned while running......heheee...fella says he and his bro's were just dying to bust a gut and pops looks straight dead-pan at 'em (suppressing his own smile) and says "nobody says a word, and nobody goes anywhere." Pops drove to town and came right back with a brand new chain saw and a-wood cuttin' they went.

God, I love listening to people's stories.........]]> Dini Open Chat for SocializingThu, 20 Nov 2008 17:18:32 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114579,114579#msg-114579 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114579,114579#msg-114579
I've viewed Veterans Day differently over the years. Paying little attn in 70's and 80's, maybe because the Countries attitude had rubbed off me. I met a couple Vets from the Nam War, Marine and Sailor, in the 90's with a Marine tshirt on. The other two guys looked very old to me. One, a former alchy with a grey beard, the other a Corpsman who would be killed shortly after crossing the street for cigarettes. I wondered if we were not silly to be along the parade route. Our days of spit shined boots and young strong bodies in uniform were over. But I noticed these two guys were taking special pride on this day.

When a group of Nam Vets passed us in old fatigues and recon hats they asked us to join them in the parade? I thot "oh no" this is silly. I want to remember myself in pictures and how magnificent I once was, not this. I joined with my 2 buddies and what I noticed, was all these Americans applauding us. It really didn't matter how we looked with grey beards and tattered faded fatigues. It was the applause I had never heard in my life. I found these people along the route with faces instead of behind them in the cafe. My old marine alchy buddy had to drop out, he was winded and sweating profusely, so I dropped out with him, heh heh. Where was the DI to beat us?

I only did this once so You had only one shot at seeing El Greggo in action in a parade. Denim shorts and Semper Fi t-shirt. Tommorrow? I plan to fish with my grandkids. My days are numbered I have a hunch, and want to remember my days fishing. But You John Q. need to stop at least once tommorrow and remember Them. Trust me, you owe them that.

Gregg]]> Gregg Open Chat for SocializingWed, 12 Nov 2008 04:31:21 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114465,114465#msg-114465 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114465,114465#msg-114465
The Cold sweats late at night were the worst. I would get up and go looking again, only to find log error or disabled. Some cold milk, sugarless cookies and try to rest again. Somewhere in the distance of my dreams I could here, "Graaig," in this tone of a telephone operator from the old days. Even Pepe emerged several times and hid under my sleeping roll. I think even the Phillies won and I lost but it didn't matter. Everything was now distanced in the New World.

Am I sleep walking or are we back? I can smell Latin Lasagne cooking, must be my neighbor again. There's a can of Manhattan Clam Chowder on my shelf, where did that come from? mmmgood. Some left over burritos and soul food from a week ago.
Hope rehab is over and I can go home.

El Greggo]]> Gregg Open Chat for SocializingSun, 09 Nov 2008 06:01:11 -0800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114264,114264#msg-114264 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,114264,114264#msg-114264Windows 2000, Windows XP and Windows Vista

Once again criminals and miscreants are banking on uninformed Windows users to help spread a new Trojan by email. The email appears to be from Microsoft, and even claims to be digitally signed by Microsoft. This new email hoax includes a new twist - quoting a real Microsoft employee, Steve Lipner, in an attempt to add credibility to it.

Microsoft never sends patches by email; they never have and they never will. In fact, no major company will ever send out a mass mailing with executable files (files that run when clicked) attached. If you receive an email that looks like it came from Microsoft with an attached file, delete the email immediately.

Sometimes, even though we know better, we get tired, or pre-occupied, and don't think things though before we do things. So even the well-informed can get stung by hoaxes like these. That's why it's important to note that this email is being sent by the millions - so the likelihood that you'll see it soon is high.

Here is more information from a Microsoft source:

The e-mail comes with an attached executable, which it claims is the latest security update, and encourages the recipient to run the attached executable so they can be safe. While malicious e-mails posing as Microsoft security notifications with attached malware aren’t new this particular one is a bit different in that it claims to be signed by Steve Lipner and has what appears to be a PGP signature block attached to it. While those are clever attempts to increase the credibility of the mail, it is not a legitimate e-mail: it is a piece of malicious spam and the attachment is malware. Specifically, it contains Backdoor:Win32/Haxdoor.

Furthermore, this backdoor opens several TCP ports that allow remote attackers to connect to the compromised PC and execute files, steal information from it, or upload and download files. The attachment’s file name varies, but uses the convention(al) KBxxxxxx.exe, where xxxxxx is a random 6-digit number. Below are some of the file names being used:

KB199250.exe
KB246586.exe
KB535548.exe
KB572906.exe
KB763412.exe..."

Those file names are typical Microsoft "KILOBYTE" (KB) file names. It does not matter of course; a file can be named anything the developer wants to name it. This is a very well planned and executed hoax - and one that is very dangerous to your computer - and your personal information. Be on your toes and remember - Microsoft never sends patches or executable files by email. Delete any email that appears to be from Microsoft which contains an attachment. You can be sure, no matter how authentic it may look, it is not from Microsoft.

Keep your anti-virus and anti-spyware updated frequently. An outdated anti-virus or anti-spyware program is almost as bad as not having any anti-spyware or anti-virus protection. Scan your computer at least once a week using a good online anti-virus scanner to ensure your anti-virus software is doing its job. Use common sense and always carefully consider opening any attachments that come via email.]]> lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingSun, 19 Oct 2008 16:37:05 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,113872,113872#msg-113872 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,113872,113872#msg-113872
No smoking on the Bus, No drinking on the bus, and be sure and carry ear phones. That's ok, nothing wrong with those regulations, but nothing in the regulations about discourteous drivers who are less than helpful. The ticket counter is almost a "do it yourself" job. Luggage? oh mann, be careful checking any luggage of value. The destinations and operations are at an all time low, when you'd think it would be at a high. I mean like, it's never been a beautiful ride, let's face it, the stops, the diners, the meat loaf and heaven forbid The Restroom facilities!! But why is this, is this Change in American and why?

To a more positive note. Most of the drivers are safety first, and not all are narly. It's just those you tend to remember, but almost all are good drivers. But they often tend to look burned-out on customer service.

The City bus system is more of the same but worse. True, it's a transiety group who ride city busses, but not all. Some decent folks ride the bus because they have to, but seldom do city bus systems have the public relations classes to teach this.

Next will be the Airline system which is of course deplorable today. But why if the Airlines fail, do the busses seem to fail worse? Was a day when a plane ride was something to look forward to. Stewardesses, yes that's right you lady feminist, "stewardesses." Beautiful ladies whose service about the plane was memorable. Today, anything goes, men, ladies less than gorgeous and many with an attitude.

This isn't all their fault, because the airline system has become a Shuttle thanks to low fares in the past, and boo coo planes in the air. The customers who ride planes are just a tad above the bus riders. Disrepsectful people in suits and ties.

It wasn't always this way. Was a time when flying was like a priveledge and treat. Amricans have just become too diversified, lazy, and are symbols of the Global 3rd World attitudes around us. Peanuts for lunch, no more free drinks, and chicken fried steak, let alone a good slice of Latin Lasagne.

Ggg]]> Gregg Open Chat for SocializingMon, 06 Oct 2008 06:57:10 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,113535,113535#msg-113535 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,113535,113535#msg-113535 lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingMon, 15 Sep 2008 20:29:02 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,113171,113171#msg-113171 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,113171,113171#msg-113171
One of our own has recently been stalked by someone, and if I understand the thread right, is was his old therapist. If you want to help keep an eye open for him or his ex-therapist on these boards, have a look at what he said here just this week:

[www.selfhelpmagazine.com]

With all good intentions.]]> Lily Open Chat for SocializingFri, 03 Oct 2008 13:56:48 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112978,112978#msg-112978 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112978,112978#msg-112978Cheers to everyone at SHF and all the members, past and present who have unselfishly invested their hearts and taken the time to genuinely listen, comfort and support others in their time of need.


Why is it comforting to discuss problems with others?
—Celine Joiris, via e-mail

Dinah Miller, a psychiatrist in private practice in Baltimore and a part-time faculty member at Johns Hopkins University, explains:

When people seek comfort in talking, they may be looking to unburden themselves of a secret or seeking validation for their beliefs. Sometimes they want reassurance that nothing is terribly wrong with them. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, has traditionally been part of the treatment for mental disorders; the process of talking is itself instrumental in alleviating such problems.

It is refreshing that your question asks why talking is comforting and not why talking is curative. It can be difficult to @#$%& what features of psychotherapy are healing; it is easier to break down the components of why a patient may feel comforted. The question does not specifically address the talking of psychotherapy as opposed to the talking that occurs between friends or in a support group, but many helpful elements are shared by all these settings.

The primary factor that yields comfort is the relationship between the distressed person and the listener. It is vitally important that the speaker feels heard and that he or she has the opportunity to discuss a situation in an open and accepting environment. Often people seek out listeners who have been through the same experience and can offer true empathy. For the sake of completeness, I should say that talking does not comfort everyone.

In Persuasion and Healing (Johns Hopkins University Press, 1961), psychiatrist Jerome Frank made the case that the most important characteristics of a psychotherapist are empathy, warmth and genuineness. Certainly these features are subject to opinion and perception, such that not every patient feels helped by every therapist. Similarly, in everyday life, people may find that one of their friends is the right person to listen to some of their problems, whereas another is better at listening to different problems.]]> lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingSun, 24 May 2009 00:11:10 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112930,112930#msg-112930 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112930,112930#msg-112930I have to get a bridge on one of my upper fangs ( hehehe) and I'm really nervous about this. The recommended bridge is called a Maryland Bridge ( ironically, it was a Maryland bridge that began crumbling while drivers were on it) and I'm not sure this is what I want since this isn't a tooth hidden in the back of my mouth. This isn't inexpensive but I would rather spend a little more if it means that it will look more natural. The doctor says that it will look natural but I've read that when metal is used to attach the tooth to the other surrounding teeth that the gray can be seen through the teeth. My other concern is that there seems to be more gum inflammation around maryland bridges.

Anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Lizzie]]> lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingThu, 09 Apr 2009 08:01:22 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112800,112800#msg-112800 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112800,112800#msg-112800by Barbara L. Minton


As many victims of the mortgage crisis continue their fancy footwork to stay one step ahead of foreclosure, others who owe more than their houses are worth have just given up and mailed the keys back to their lenders. Although mainstream media's guestimates as to when the crisis will end are fairly optimistic, nobody really has a clue as to how long foreclosures will rise and housing values will continue to plummet. And nobody knows how long it will take to clear the huge glut of houses currently on the market.

Finger pointing has become the national pastime. Many believe the mortgage crisis is the result of stupid consumers greedy for soaring ceilings and granite countertops. Others say predatory lending is to blame. Some even say that not everybody who has a full time job deserves to be a homeowner.

These rationales fail to acknowledge what is really happening to the citizens of America as a result of the policies of the Clinton and Bush administrations that have destroyed the jobs traditionally held by the middle class. The erosion of America's ability to manufacture and produce goods to be sold on world markets has put a stake through the heart of the middle class who can no longer earn the kind of wages needed to make house payments. Their ability to save and invest for their future as well as to pay the kind of taxes needed to fund the imperialistic goals of our government has also been severely compromised.

When people have good jobs, they can afford to by homes. They are able to save and amass a substantial down payment so they have a stake in the future of their loans, an outcome that's good for the borrower, good for the lender, and good for America. But the good jobs are gone now. They left on the free trade express.

Remember back in the 1992 election when Ross Perot warned us loud and clear that if we supported candidates in favor of NAFTA we would hear a giant sucking sound? The sound he was referring to was the loss of jobs and the reduced standard of living of the American people that would follow such job loss. We didn't hear him then, because we really weren't listening. We were too busy making fun of his accent and mannerisms to hear the truth of his words. Besides that, Perot was a third party candidate, and we have never liked them. We always have been slaves to brand names.

In 1992 we chose the young man who magically appeared out of nowhere to tell us of the wonders that would befall the American people when NAFTA came to pass. He promised us that the standard of living of Mexico and Canada would be elevated to match the standard of living in the U.S., and as a result we would have a huge source of additional revenue for our corporations because they would be able to trade freely with the burgeoning economies of these countries. It didn't turn out that way.

Part of what we didn't hear was Perot warning us that NAFTA really meant that the standard of living of the U.S. and Canada would sink to the level of the lowest common denominator, Mexico. We are now living through the fulfillment phase of his warning as the few remaining American producers and manufacturers open their plants and fields south of our border where wages have remained just as cheap as they were when NAFTA began.

Many of us now wish we had listened to Perot.

Then there's the declining value of the dollar that makes houses in the U.S. look so expensive when they are really not. The value of the U.S. dollar has declined more than 50% since the year 2000, a testimonial to the failed policies of the Bush administration. So a house that was worth $150,000 in 2000 is now worth more than $300,000 because it takes twice as many dollars to create the value that it took in 2000. It's not that housing prices went up so fast over the last eight years that's the problem. The problem is that the currency Americans have to buy houses with is worth only half as much.

Why is the dollar losing its value at such a rapid rate? The Bush administration likes to tell us that it supports a strong dollar, but this is just propaganda being fed to us to keep us pacified. In the markets of the world, the dollar is regularly talked down in value, and here's why. As the dollar falls in value relative to other currencies, the multinational corporations that derive so much of their earnings from sales in foreign countries are able to convert their profits back into dollars at rates very favorable to them.

The falling buck also allows the corporations of other countries to buy American assets on the cheap. When the dollar isn't worth very much against the currencies of other countries, it is as though each and every asset owned by America and Americans is on sale at dirt cheap prices. There are plenty of buyers. The recent purchase of Anheuser Busch by Belgium company InBev tells the tale as America loses its last name brand brewery to foreign ownership.

Globalization is heaven for multinational corporations. It's hell for the American middle class.

Free traders and those who support globalization try to get us to think just being able to by cheap goods from foreign markets is a great thing. Americans are now thought of as the consumers that power the rest of the world. But there is no thought given to how they will continue to consume when they have no money coming in. If you lose your job, can you continue to buy things just like you did when you had a job?

Gus Stelzer, former General Motors executive, has tried to make it clear that it's not the consumer who is king, but the producer. It's the labor of the people as evidenced by production that is the origin of all income and tax revenue.

Production is the molding of the Earth's resources into useful products. It is this adding of value to what existed before that lays the groundwork for a successful economy. When Americans produced most of what they needed to live -- cars, clothes, food, electronics -- they were paid well. They could afford to buy a house and fill it with the furnishings and appliances needed for living. Their purchases added to the bottom lines of the companies where they worked. This is how a successful economy operates.

Now all we have are retail outlets where foreign merchandise is sold. What retail clerk earns enough money to buy a house? And what retail clerk is able to pay the kind of taxes it would take to pay the interest on the huge federal debt, much less cover the ever expanding government employee payroll?

If the goods represented by America's trade deficit were produced in the U.S., they would generate 42 trillion in added national income, an amount equal to $16,600 per household, according to Stelzer.

It was the failure of free trade between the colonies and England that resulted in the writing of the Constitution, which states that trade with foreign nations should be "regulated... to form a more perfect union", points out Stelzer. It was also the failure of free trade that forced President Nixon to take the U.S. off the gold standard before foreign holders of our dollars wiped out our gold reserves. When we lost the gold standard, our money was no longer pegged to anything real, and became totally worthless except for the goodwill of others willing to accept it.

Since then, our trade deficit has ballooned and the federal debt has soared to a jaw dropping 10 trillion dollars. We are on the fast track to an economic collapse that may bring us into parity with Mexico in short order. Just what the globalists seem to want.

Now it's election time again. Ron Paul was this year's third party candidate, bringing us his version of how to restore America to liberty and prosperity, much like what Perot tried to tell us back in 1992. Again, we have chosen not to listen. We have ridiculed Paul like we did Perot instead of hearing the truth of his words.

We will march to the polls on Election Day to vote for one of the two candidates who both support the globalists' agenda and the continued selling out of America and all things American to the highest bidder. But maybe it will all turn out okay. With a little more devaluation of the dollar, maybe the Chinese will want to buy our foreclosures.


About the author
Barbara is a school psychologist, a published author in the area of personal finance, a breast cancer survivor using "alternative" treatments.]]> lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingWed, 03 Sep 2008 15:21:32 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112604,112604#msg-112604 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112604,112604#msg-112604
I couldn't help but notice from the get go how truly odd it was that that the grandfather, a former homicide detective, wasn't being more proactive and media friendly.

In the beginning, the grandmother was quite angry and obviously fed up with her daughter's typical behavior and now she's her daughter's strongest ally? Strange.

The brother is the ' peacemaker' of the family

The grandmother is being manipulated by her daughter and thus, pulling everyone's strings as if she's being blackmailed by her own daughter.

Oh and no one wants to even touch on who the bio dad of Caylee is.

So, based on what I've observed in this family and my knowledge of how dysfunctional families operate when they are trying to maintain the family secret, I had a strange lightbulb moment last night: ( I could be way wrong about this, but the more I think about it, the more it makes complete sense)

I had this sick feeling that Casey was sexually abused by her father or brother and got pregnant by him and that caylee is his daughter. Let's get real folks, they claim that Casey wanted sole custody and didn't want the bio dad to ever know... but why? After all, she's not the kind of person who seems to exude integrity and a tremendous desire to care solely for her child and NOT receive child support.

the abuse would definitely create friction between mom and daughter and I tend to think that her mother knows that if she pisses her daughter off that casey will come clean and tell the truth and let the secret out of the bag.

Now, here's the thing.......if this is true, then certainly both Casey and her parents knew that as Caylee grew older, someone would find out about the bio dad in the event that Caylee became sick. Also when kids start school , sometimes they need medical records, etc.. If the father or brother ever needed to donate blood, someone would notice.

It just seems to me that in any event, for whatever reason, the grandmother is terrified of her daughter and trying to appease her as if she's being blackmailed. The lies and excuses are so terribly lame that it's obvious they are desperately trying to please their daughter. In one tele conversation, Casey bashed her mother for not knowing her involvement in the disappearnce of her daughter and the mother backed down and called her ' sweetie'. casey is definitely the puppet master from inside those bars but her mother is a terrible liar and making a mockery of this whole case.

Casey's sexual behavior and drug use are also indicators of someone whose been sexually abused.

The defense attorney must know that she's guilty as heck because he's not behaving like most attorneys in this type of case. The other thing is that the police chief has never made any statement or given any type of public update AND no amber alert has been issued. WEIRD!!!

I'm tellin ya, the attorney has everyone playing a game in order to save his client and win a case. It's all such a farce.]]> lizzie61 Open Chat for SocializingThu, 07 Aug 2008 12:05:15 -0700 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112415,112415#msg-112415 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?112,112415,112415#msg-112415
I'm asking this here on the offchance that someone will be able to help me. It's information about an old-time self help author that I'm after.

Around the beginning of last century there was a series of ten books published under the rubric 'Mental Efficiency', and the first volume in that series was entitled: "Poise - How to Attain It". It was written by someone signing themselves D. Starke. Now I've been studying this book a while and I like it, but I was wondering exactly who the author might have been, and here I only draw blanks. Plenty of people still read this book, you can find many electronic editions and a couple of paper ones too - but if you google, there is still no sign at all of biographical information.

So my question is, does anyone know who this man was? Or if not, do you know anyone else who might?

Thanks for reading, Jason]]> J-Sun Open Chat for SocializingFri, 25 Jul 2008 06:56:00 -0700