SelfhelpMagazine Blog

SURVIVAL GUIDE for Adulthood?

Posted on 27. Jul, 2009 by SHM Staff.

In the SHM Community Forums, Jimmy shared his SURVIVAL GUIDE for adulthood for when the going gets tough. He said:

JG,

I give you credit for making the decision to post here.

When life is so overwhelming that you can't attend a support group meeting or revival without doubting yourself, it is time to be sure you are plugged into a therapist and physician that you like and respect, and that you see both regularly, whether you like seeing them or not.

The alternative is too worrisome to even consider. Please tell me that you are seeing both types of professionals now, and if you've already posted this information here, forgive my forgetting. Like you said, it's been awhile, so I am not remembering.

But I care and I hope you write back soon. And if you are taking any medications, or suppose to be and aren't, please let me know that, too. It will help me understand you better when I respond to you again.

Here are some things that I've adopted them as my SURVIVAL GUIDE for adulthood, for when the going gets really rough:

• • Take one day at a time.
  • Treat myself to things I enjoy and are healthy for me, as much as I can.
  • Walk every day for at least an hour.
  • Shower every day, no matter what.
  • Eat healthy food – hold back on the chemicals. They just mess me up worse.
  • No alcohol.
  • No caffeine or stimulants other than anti-depressants or other prescribed meds or vitamin products. I let a trusted doctor make those medical decisions for me because when I get into a bad place, I make ridiculous decisions about what's good for me. Then I follow their directions.
  • No hanging out with people who put me down. I only have contact with people who help build me up.
  • No watching dramas, murders, scary or bummer movies. That includes no artsy or European films. I only watch comedies. Period. Comedies.
  • Get up every day at a specific time, no matter what.
  • If I can't wake up when I get up, I go outside and walk until my vision clears and I can begin smelling things again.

This helps me with my self-esteem , my relationships and many of the factors included are things I learned in the 12 Steps of AA, but which I have adapted over time. I don't now if my list will help you, but I offer it with an open heart.

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Baby Steps to Change

Posted on 04. Jun, 2009 by SHM Staff.

On how a bunch of baby steps can make a big change, Dini wrote:

-snip-

Hope I don't offend you with this; it's something I do to myself which is why I recognize it; you say you are "only" taking baby steps – sort of hitting yourself with the stick because they are "only" baby steps. When I do that to myself I try to remind myself that it is "only" baby steps, taken one by one, one day at a time, that lead to the "big changes" you say you want to make. Big changes, even the thought of them, can and do overwhelm me; baby steps I can (usually) handle. It is only after a whole bunch of baby steps that I realize I've made a big change (and wonder, how in the world did that happen?).

So I'm all in favor of baby steps. My experience with depression and anxiety has also been (and has been this past week especially) that it often feels like one step forward, two or three steps backwards, and sometimes it is -when first told this by a therapist, that this is part of the nature and process of depression, I really didn't believe her, but I've found through experience that it has been the case. In the long run, the baby steps win out.

Last night I said a few brief words at an AA meeting but they were very significant words for me to say out loud as I had never said such a thing out loud before. Maybe they will resonate with you. I said "I didn't and couldn't do much of anything today. And I did the best I could today." (And I heard a guy's voice behind me kindly, quietly and gently say "and that's OK" – I wanted to turn around and hug him and cry).

Hope none of that is presumptuous of me and mostly I hope something in there is helpful to you Lycra.

Hang in. One baby step at a time.

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11 Tips for What To Do When Life is Hard

Posted on 14. Jun, 2008 by SHM Staff.

Here's Jimmy's list that he gave to someone in the Community Forum:

Here are some things that I've adopted as my blue print for survival when life is hard:

1. Take one day at a time.
2. Treat myself to things I enjoy and are healthy for me, as much as I can.
3. Walk every day for at least an hour.
4. Shower every day, no matter what.
5. Eat healthy food – hold back on the chemicals. They just mess me up worse.
6. No alcohol.
7. No caffeine or stimulants other than anti-depressants or other prescribed meds or vitamin products. I let a trusted doctor make those medical decisions for me because when I get into a bad place, I make ridiculous decisions about what's good for me. Then I follow their directions.
8. No hanging out with people who put me down. I only have contact with people who help build me up.
9. No watching dramas, murders, scary or bummer movies. That includes no artsy or European films. I only watch comedies. Period. Comedies.
10. Get up every day at a specific time, no matter what.
11. If I can't wake up when I get up, I go outside and walk until my vision clears and I can begin smelling things again.

I don't now if my list will help you, but I hope it gives you some direction.

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