SelfhelpMagazine Blog

How to Be Happy and Develop Self Esteem

Posted on 25. May, 2009 by SHM Staff.

In the SHM Community Forums, Lily tried to help someone who can't figure out how to be happy and talked about not having self esteem.

Lily responded:

To find happiness, I started focusing on what I needed for a change, rather than trying to make everyone else happy.   I started to take better care of myself. I took all medication I WANTED to take exactly as prescribed, rather than just taking aswig from the bottles, or "getting arpound" to taking pills. I began measuring liquid medications and taking pills with meals, so I wouldn't forget them. I decided that I would do these things for a child, if I had one still at home, so I deserved the same love and care as any child.

I also began asking myself what i wanted. i know it's a little thing, but I never did it before. I just ran around, mindlessly doing what other people wanted. When i made a plan, or gave my word to someone, i made sure I kept it. Before I knew it, I felt better about myself.

But here are the three most helpful things that I did to find happiness that you might also find helpful:
1. Everyday, do at least 3 small things that will make you feel good about YOU. Whatever it is:

• painting your nails,
• making yourself an extra cup of tea,
• taking a walk,
• doing yoga for 10 minutes,
• taking a hot bath,
• calling an old friend, whatever.
• Come hereto SelfhelpMagazine  for 10 minutes a day instead of watching one of those stupid TV shows you don't like anymore.
• Read their self-help materials.
• Hang out in their Meditation Department. It has lots of cool inspirational thoughts and relaxing videos.
• Write comments on their articles and start feeling like you belong to this healthy community of like-minded, generous people.

Three things, every day. Do it for you.
2. Think about getting yourself a therapist. There is nothing like an objective third party giving you weekly feedback about your situation and how to treat yourself more lovingly. They won't solve your problems, but rather, help you think more clearly about how to solve your own problems, and in the process, learn to make decisions that lead to betetr self-esteem and feeling good about yourself and your choices.
3. Keep posting in these forums. Find old messages that relate to self-esteem and read them and post to them. Spread yourself around and the more people see you, the more they will come to this first thread and respond to you. But if you don't talk to them, they won't be too motivated to come talk to you.

Around here, you get what you give. Give a lot and guess what…you'll get a whole lot! I found this website when I was a sad little puppy, and now I know where to come to get re-fueled.

Hope to see you around!

Lil

Continue Reading

Working at Being Happy by Making a Gratitude List

Posted on 05. May, 2009 by SHM Staff.

In the SHM Community Forums, Lily shares her own list of things to be grateful for. She  said:

Some days I have to work to find even a moment of happiness. On those days, I force myself to write things I appreciate – I think some groups call it having a "gratitude list."

Like this:

I'm grateful for having this website to come to when no one in the world seems to care about me.

I'm grateful for having a computer so I can pass time doing things that improve my mind, like looking up things, or reaching out to the world for compassion, understanding and sometimes just acknowledgment.
I'm grateful for having the money to afford an internet connection.

I'm grateful I know how to write English well enough to be understood. I'malso grateful for the education I have. Sure, it isn't as much as I wanted, but it carries me where I need to go.

etc. etc. Once I get on a roll, things I'm grateful about pour out of me.

Like, I'm even grateful to have a warm set of pjs to sit here and type this in tonight. The more I think about what I appreciate and am grateful for, the more happy I am, even if it is for just a twinge of time. Working at happiness beats the alternative – for me.

What about you? What do you do to work toward being happy?

Continue Reading