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Rapists and How to Protect Yourself

Lily wrote:

I just got this in email today and want to pass it along to you:

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two: Are office parking lots/garages. Number three: Are public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don’t have to worry about
getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is
it, or make general small talk: ‘I can’t believe it is so cold out here, ‘we’re in for a bad winter.’ Now you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands – the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it – it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he’s out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you….chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER
DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby —-This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America’s Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

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13 Responses to “Rapists and How to Protect Yourself”

  1. Lily,

    Wow. A very thorough, and in some respects (to me anyway) run-down of how to avoid or deal with what amounts to, a predator.

    From personal experience I can tell you the groin move will have even Hulk Hogan completely blinded by intense pain, unable to move, and wishing he were dead for a few minutes.

    Here’s one I learned as a young kid; someone bigger grabs or bearhugs you from behind (your arms are pinned). If you are wearing hard heeled shoes or boots a quick backward kick so that the sharp edge of the heel gives a solid whack to the shin-bone is so painful it never failed me. Instant release. It’s not quite as effective as the groin move, but it works. At least gave me an opportunity to deal with the chicken-____ bully face on.

  2. I agree completely. I was followed by a young man and when i turned and looked him square in the face and asked him what time it was, he took off.

    I also have a 50 year old friend who was surprised from behind by two kids. She was leaning over her trunk, making room for new packages of merchandise she had just purchased. They threw her between two cars in broad daylight, and kicked her face mercilessly. She was shopping at Bloomingdale’s. She never got a chance to see them. Her face needs reconstructive surgery. They took off with her purse, and now she has severe PTSD.

  3. Much good advice here and thank you very much for it. However I am a little uneasy about the following:

    “Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is
    it, or make general small talk: ‘I can’t believe it is so cold out here, ‘we’re in for a bad winter.’ Now you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.”

    If a rapist knew that I could identify him, would he be more likely to go the whole way and make sure I couldn’t do so, ever? I’m not sure I would like to take that risk.

  4. I was the victim of an attempted rape about 10 years ago and I was 55 then, so not a young girl any more. It was the most traumatic experience I have ever had and even now I wake up in a cold sweat every so often and of all the things I remember it was the smell of the man which keeps coming back to me, a mixture of stale tobacco and some kind of spirits. I worked part time as a waitress and I was coming back home at around 10.00pm when I was grabbed from behind and I fell to the ground with him on top of me. This was in a quiet street and there was no one else around. I was lucky that a car came round the corner with it’s headlights on and the man ran off, he was never caught and I had a broken wrist, broken nose and cuts to my forehead which left scars which I’ll always have. I was lucky because I didn’t have a clue what to do and was completely defenceless. I have two daughters and I insisted that they both went to self defence classes but they both gave it up after a few weeks and one of them said that they were “too old and ugly” to get raped. Well I was no spring chicken and this man still tried so I think every woman should learn how to look after herself.

  5. A very clever idea, will impliment it as soon as possible. Keep up the good work

  6. This is an intelligent blog. I’m serious. They have so much knowledge on this subject, so much passion.

  7. Nice post. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets. Thanks a lot for posting this article.

  8. Kimberly 31000 says:

    Interesting post. Women should be trained on self defense. There needs to be a lot of self awareness.

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  10. Great informative post! keep them coming!

  11. Show aggressive looks and ask directly to a person stiring at you…”Why are you stiring at me?” Or “Am I your ‘sign board’ and you’re stiring at me?”..and shout it out for everyone to hear. You’ll put him off straight away and what he’s contemplating on will disappear in his mind.

  12. Timmy Manney says:

    I love it when people come together and share ideas. Great website, keep it up.

  13. Trukfit says:

    Now about understanding the post I agree with it as it is valid and its nice spotting an author that is stating snippets on this topic online to read.

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