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Porn and Self-Gratification as Stress Relief

To answer the question of one forum member: “Are porn and self-gratification primarily subconscious relief of tension for my boyfriend?”, Joanna answered…

Hello Dana!

Welcome to our forums. To begin answering your question about stress relieving, yes indeed, masturbation (to whatever stimuli) is a stress reliever for many people (men and women).

The damage of course occurs when the person masturbating chooses to masturbate rather than examine/deal with or communicate their negative feelings. By masturbating, they can engage is an all-too-often hidden activity that excludes rather than includes you in their deeper emotional world.

Online, people play out their fantasy (which is often very revealing of their emotional state), have a gratifying orgasm (often within minutes of sitting at the keyboard) and they can move on with the rest of their day. No fuss, no muss. There’s nothing wrong with an occasional stress reliever, however.

The problem if any, can occur with the frequency and if you are getting deprived of getting your needs for intimacy satisfied. Frequent engagement with online porn at the expenses of a real life partner is not good for either one of you.  Such frequent hidden sexual activity, when done too often and at the expense of your real life relationship, can rob you and your relationship of the sexual intimacy that can, in many ways make your feelings for one another grow stronger. Research by our former SHM  Sex and Lust Department Chairperson, Dr. Al Cooper and Dr. Marlene Maheu has shown that people who engage in all too frequent online sexuality suffer from a low grade depression.

Tell us more about you both and ask some questions. We might be able to help you gain some insight into how to deal with this situation.

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4 Responses to “Porn and Self-Gratification as Stress Relief”

  1. I think there’s nothing wrong with an occasional stress reliever

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  4. Caroline:O'Brien says:

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