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Benefiting Yourself as You Become Part of the SHM Community
Manuel wrote:
People often do not understand how to make a support forum work for themselves. Receiving information and support is just a part of what this community is about. Another important part is giving back. Let me explain how I've learned to get the most out of this and other online forums:
1. The most important thing is to be a contributing member because those efforts come back in spades. If you can take a few minutes to answer someone else's question, no matter how old the question, you will let people see your name more than once. With repeat exposure, people will come to know you and be curious about this generous person who takes time to give back and comment on other people's questions.
2. The unexpressed benefit that you might also get is the experience of having drawn your own attention to an issue in your own mind. This benefit is one that often goes unnoticed, but is quite powerful.
Because you will have taken the time to comment, the issue will be more prevalent in your own psyche, your own mindfulness. Spending time addressing an issue that makes that issue more likely to be in focus for you over time.
We all read a lot of things every day. For the most part, only the ones we choose to focus on stay with us. The rest we filter out, along with the millions of other tidbits of input that our brains process and disregard. Taking the time to write a response to someone will make that issue more front and center for you.
3. That's why I pick my topics well, and don't spend my time writing smart-alecty rebuttals or complaints to upsetting people. I ignore them and move forward to those that share a goal of living in the "light" in the positive aspects of life and love. That's why I come here to SHM, frankly. The staff here is quite good about removing uncivilized posts and letting. My suggestion then is to pick your topics well, and don't bother spewing venum to people online who upset you.
4. Spend your time talking about the ways in which you've learned to improve yourself, or seen others improve themselves.
5. Set goals for yourself if you have an issue in common with someone else, and mention your personal goals that you choose when yuo respond to a post that inspires you.
An example might be:
"Pete! I have the same problem and because I read your note here today, I'm committing to calling my long-lost brother tomorrow at 6 pm, whether I want to or not. It's just the ight thing to do." or whatever else you feel inspired to do. The fact that you made that commitment in writing, rather than just silently in your head, will increase the likelihood that you will actually do it.
7. The other benefit of commenting to other people's posts is that you will have done your part in keeping these SHM Community Forums a useful resource for everyone. One of the things that increases my self-esteem is when I know I have done my part to keep a good thing alive.
SelfhelpMagazine is a good thing, and I for one want to see it live forever.
Best of luck to you and I hope to read your posts soon.
Manuel