SelfhelpMagazine Blog

In the SHM Community Forums, Dini advised one member on how he can help his Dad who had witnessed the murder of his other son. He said:

Hi Tazkss,

Welcome. Sometimes it takes a little while for someone to notice a new thread, so don't let that put you off; (I'm one of the worst for it – I get kind of tunnel vision).

I am sorry for your loss. And trauma. Both for yourself and your father.

Have you and your father considered or sought some counseling or therapy. Grief counseling can be really helpful and you have not only grief to deal with but trauma; and that can be seriously hurtful all by itself. Perhaps you could find someone who specializes in grief counseling and trauma to speak with? If you look around the forums (I think it's in the Psychology and Counseling forum) Jimmy has some great stuff about finding good therapists. Dr. Maheu also has some great and helpful information on the blog.

You've been through a horrible and painful loss and my heart goes out to you. I would urge you to take care of yourself, and perhaps help your dad do the same. He is certainly not to blame simply for being a witness to such a horrible loss.

And maybe stick around here. You've said a lot in three sentences but the more you are able to speak of how you feel and what is going on for you, the more people will be able to respond and lend support. And in my experience, this is a very supportive place.

So perhaps you could drop back in and let us know what you think of counseling, or just let us know how it is going and how you are feeling?

And just a thought Taskss, I think it's beautiful that your heart goes out to your dad, and you ask how you can help him. But please remember you have your own grief and loss and trauma as well; as you say, you are sad, and I'm sure that is putting it pretty mildly. Remember to take care of yourself too.

I hope you come on back and use us for a little support. It's here for you.