1. Find someone with a Ph.D and several certifications for post-graduate training. If they haven’t gotten post-graduate training in some specialty area, ask them why not? When listening to their answers to your pointed questions, pay attention to the hesitations, side-ways glances, or any other clues that they may be hiding something (what may seem like paranoia is simply being cautious when you’re preparing to entrust someone with your emotional well-being. Do they have a sense of humor when answering difficult questions, or do they project that pole-up-the-rear feeling? Listen to your guts and go for the less rigid ones. They will give you less grief over the long term.
2. If the therapist you’d prefer has a waiting list, and you are not in crisis, wait. They are likely to be worth it.
3. Try working with someone a few decades older than you. They have wisdom that younger therapists just can’t begin to imagine. Older people have lived it, taught it, breathed it and written about it. They are the role models to teach us how to grow old with grace and charm. They are the gentle people of the world. Only they can help us deal with later-life issues.
4. If you considering another therapist because your are stuck in a relationship with a therapist and think he/she needs to learn a lesson, be right up front about it, see what they have to say, and if they can’t own their issues and clean up their side of the fence in a few weeks, get out. Why bother paying anyone to teach them a life lesson? Let them get their own therapist and find one who sole purpose in your relationship is to help you. Don’t waste your precious time and open spirit.
If your current therapist can’t see or take responsibility for their issues, offer to pay for another therapist to join you both and have a few supervised sessions with your therapist. if your therapist refuses to open your therapy to another professional to get feedback, it’s time to go. No need for a protracted good-bye. Whatever good-bye you have will most likely be spent trying to convince you of how wrong you are, so spare yourself the hassle and get yourself an intermediary therapist immediately to help you make the termination smoother.
5. Barter for the fee. If you are paying out of pocket, and plan to stick around for a while, don’t be afraid to make an offer for a reduced fee. Point out that you will be weekly, reliable, and will be willing to pay even when they go on vacation. If you are not the suicidal, high maintenance type of client, be sure to mention that, too. Nothing is more appealing to a therapist than a mature, experienced client who keeps their appointments and isn’t a pain in the neck by calling at the wee hours of the morning with a crisis.
6. If you’re too cheap to pay for a good therapist and want to use your managed care benefits above all else, think again. You get what you pay for, especially in mental health care. Besides, how much have you paid in the past for a new car or a new house or a new car or wardrobe when you really needed a personality over-haul? Emotional make-overs are much less expensive than new toys, and the results last for the rest of your life. Isn’t feeling really great about YOU and your relationships worth a few thousand dollars?
SHM Staff asks YOU: What do you think of Jimmy's suggestions?
No Responses to “How to Find a Good Psychotherapist – Part II”
Trackbacks/Pingbacks