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Suicide Survivors Feel Guilty
In the SHM Community Forums, Dini responded to one member who felt guilty about the death of her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. He said:
Hi Cricri,
Suicide leaves "victims" behind, including those who question, doubt or blame themselves to one degree or another. While there is a part of me that understands why someone might choose a "permanent solution to a temporary problem" (because in the midst of it the problem may not seem temporary to the person experiencing it) I also believe it is a choice, and like any choice, is not something someone else "caused."
I agree with the suggestions to perhaps seek some counseling or therapy to help you work through this so that you truly come to emotionally understand that this is not your fault. Perhaps in the course of it you may find yourself exploring some other things as well which may be helpful to you – perhaps you're feelings of guilt over this tragedy and your "affair" may lead you to learn some valuable things about yourself and your own life?
Hang in there; and please come back and let us know how you are doing. I admire your honesty.
Dini