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Do Children Have Orgasms?
In the Community SHM Forums, Manuel responded to one forum member who was worried about her 5 year old kid who seemed to have some sexual reactions while doing sexual actions like thumping and rubbing. He wrote:
Self stimulation is normal and natural, just like picking your nose or scratching your butt.
However, our particular society (and many others but not all) consider it unacceptable, so parents of children who particularly enjoy sexual self stimulation have a problem. Like most other parenting problems, there are many approaches to solving it without panicking.
First, relax. Remind yourself that if sexual stimulation were not natural and pleasurable, most of us would not exist.
Second, accept the fact that a healthy child at any age may find that sexual self-stimulation is more fun than a lot of other things.
Third, make a plan with all other adults involved to use the same approach with the child.
Fourth, the child needs to be spoken to, by one or more of the adults, in a calm and non-punitive way. The child needs to be told where and when to touch themselves sexually, or in their language, “make yourself feel good.”
The acceptable times and places need to be agreed to by all adults ahead of time. In the facilities I have worked with this issue, during dinner or instead of basketball practice is not ok. Alone in their bedroom, with the door shut, after all homework has been completed and checked by an adult is acceptable.
Often, when given the time and room to “do it” a child often contains the stimulation to that time and place and the “act” stops generating so much attention. A child treated with respect this way learns that sexual stimulation is normal, but has to be done in private, alone, and only at acceptable times.
That’s what I have and will continue to teach children about masturbation.
What do you want to teach children about masturbation?