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Cyber Relationship: Cheating or Not?
In the SHM Community Forums, Frank responded to one member who had a partner who gave her a reason to believe that his cyber affair is for the good of their relationship. He said:
He is confused and needs help. He did it for himself primarily. If he won't go, he won't go. That's something for you to consider when you decide whether to stay with him. This episode will pass, but his attitude won't pass if he doesn't get the help he needs. Instead, he will do this again, for "you" in another way.
-snip-
If you want to grow with us here, I'd suggest you re-read Jo's note to you AND ALSO what you've written so far, and see how you've told us about him vs. how much you've said about you.
In other words, even here you seem to be primarily focused about him. I think what Joe was saying was you might want to try something different in this forum. You might want to try to stop talking about him –and his views –and his feelings –and his behaviors.
In my therapy I've learned that my growth is not about other people. So all I can say to yoI is that your growth is not about him – it's about you.
What if you try to talk about you, and leave him out of it? How much can you say? What do you like, not like? what are your dreams? How can you make today your day? My wife fixes a couple of tea for herself and make sure she enjoys it.