Second Life Affairs
Posted on 27. Oct, 2007 by SHM Staff in CLIPS FROM SHM DISCUSSION FORUMS, Cyber-romance, Cyber-stalking and Cyber-infidelity
In discussing the Second life website and romantic affairs that regularly occur there, Dini wrote:
I guess the difficulty is in separating feelings from what is happening?
Here's an irony that strikes me, this being a mental health web site populated by plenty of folks (myself included) who have spent time with a therapist; that same concept – the "real" relationship and the "transference" relationship which can seem, and is, just as real as the real one, at least the feelings are. And where one stops and the other begins. Maybe there's a similarity between what you are describing occurs with the avatars and your feelings and what can transpire between a therapist and oneself in terms of feelings, though the therapist is not your mom, lover, boss, etc. (and unless you and/or the therapist is really screwing up you're not going to act on any of those feelings). But the feelings are certainly real. And perhaps as with the avatar experience, very, very difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it.
And if the feelings are that real, I can see why you would not want someone you were involved with playing on that Second Life website.
SHM Staff asks you: What do you think about romantic affairs on the Second Life website?
8 Responses to “Second Life Affairs”
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Arturo
21. Nov, 2007
Second Life regulars are a sorry bunch. They need a real life and for whatever reason, can't get one. They make the problem worse by hiding out on that website and not forcing themselves to go into the real world.
Jane
26. Aug, 2008
Totally agree Arturo. My step son just abandoned his fiance and baby for some girl he met 2 months ago on Second Life. They have never even met in real life. Just ridiculous. I hope he's thoroughly disappointed when they do meet.
Alexa
07. Sep, 2008
Yes, feelings are real. Most people I know in Secondlife talk on the phone real life and most even met if they are live close enough to their virual lover in real life. When they do met, married or not, they have an affair
RA
23. Oct, 2008
Second Life needs to be exposed for what it is: a huge enabler of sex addicts and affairs! My husband was involved in many affairs before I discovered what he was doing and it destroyed our marriage. The Second Life affairs are every bit as real as a Real Life affair— and do not think otherwise!
incognito
04. Nov, 2008
I can't even tell you how hurt I was when I saw with my own eyes what my husband was up to on Second Life. He had a virtual wife and he said he loved her and would find a way for them to be together. When I confronted him, he was remorseful and said he only loved me. That he didn't know how he got caught up in this fantasy. We came very close to divorce. Call it what you want.. but it damaged our marriage, and I don't know if I will ever trust him again.
BiilYBonnYU
11. Nov, 2008
Excellent blog! Interesting article and very informative! I will necessarily subscribe for this blog. http://onlineoneru.ru/map.html
Illinois51
14. Nov, 2008
Second Life has an insidious way of affecting Real Life. A relative of mine has put his marriage in deep trouble by having a SL relationship which entered RL and became a full blown affair. And it all starts out so innocently with just a general chat. Of course the fairy tale set up of SL really enables one to live in fantasy….so it is very detrimental to someone who may be experiencing a rough patch in real life. They tend to lose sight of reality.
BeenCheated09
28. Feb, 2009
I just caught my boyfriend of 13 years having the physical affair with one of the girls(avatar) that he'd met 2 months ago. I think that, the site is NOT for the "weak" or "disturbed" mind who cannot face the hardship of the reality. After he got busted — even though he had not admitted to me yet — I did my own investigation on him and found out throught another avatar that, he had been cheating on me "emotianlly" for past 2 1/2 years. Yes…those were the years where our lives were turbulent…I found a lump on my breast (thankfully it was negative), my dad had several health problems which involved many hospital visits, and my boyfriend had quit his job that he hated in real life to make it "big" in Second Life. Needless to say, with no job and money…his taxes were unpaid was several years back, his debt were high, and I was taking care of myself, my parents, and my beloved boyfriend. I was there for him (even with my own daily stress at work)…taking care of him as though I was his mother…just truly trying to be the best "partner" in real life. Needless to say…he used every bit of what I had given to him and was having another life somewhere else…where the sun always shines. It disgusts me to know that when I needed him "emotionally" past three years, he was elsewhere giving it to someone else. It even surprised me to learned that, after he hooked up with the latest avatar, the "avatar" that I had contacted was also heartbroken by him — even though they'd never met but spoke on the phone past 2 years. I think they all need psychological help…