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The Internet has no life of its own. It is inanimate. Human beings make it safe or dangerous. Much as we navigate a crowded parking lot at the mall, our awareness and intention determine our safety on the Internet.

As our ability to construct new environment increases, our ability to misuse these environments will also increase. Examples of such misuse can include technological surveillance techniques and other technology-based invasions of privacy or cyber-harassment. Misuse of technology also involves exposing our youth to cyber-crime.

Societal Responsibility

Children can access and explore relationships and sexuality online in ways that most adults find alarming. Internet use opens the door to unprecedented freedom without responsibility. Children can undoubtedly find their way to forbidden sexual arenas on the Internet, whether through their own ingenuity, or by encouragement by their friends and classmates. What will happen to children who are exposed to cyber-sexual stimulation too early in their development? Imagine a fourteen-year-old, experienced in cyber-sex for several years, going on a first date in the real world.

It is obviously important for parents to keep a watchful eye on their youth as they gain exposure to romance and sexuality through the Internet. Teaching children to use the Internet can be compared to teaching them to drive. There are many benefits from both, but there are also dangers. With proper attention, children can benefit from the Internet, and yet use caution. When viewed in light of the report of the limited resources being allocated to computer crime, there is an immediate need for parents to not only be aware of their children and teenager's activities, but also serve as role models for responsible use of the Internet in the future.

Future Solutions

Technological safety calls for action. Educating yourself about such issues is the first step. As Dale Spender writes, in Nattering on the Net: Women, Power, and Cyberspace, "Cyberspace is a less costly and time consuming method of communication for women than the use of a telephone or writing a letter…Cyberspace is here to stay. The most responsible stand that feminists can take is to find out how it works and to become decision-makers in the process…." Everyone concerned with personal and public safety needs to become a decision maker with respect to technology. Supporting Internet Service Providers who establish procedures for complaints of cyber-harassment and conspicuously post them on their websites is another way to make a difference. Contacting your legislative representatives to keep them focused on these issues is another. Supporting legislators that help pass and enforce laws related to cyber-safety can also be effective.

Regarding children, technology can be used to deter or prevent access to Internet pornography through software packages that require electronic signatures, passwords, or biometric scanners, which identify a person by physical attribute.

Of course, the problem with this type of monitoring software is that a child merely needs to find a neighborhood friend with an unmonitored computer, and spend the evening doing "homework" in the secrecy of that friend's bedroom. Clearly, public education is crucial as the Internet continues to expand, reaching into our homes, our bedrooms, and the minds of our children.

Indeed, the most reasonable solution to problems related to cyber-safety is to train parents and teachers to educate children in beneficial, rather than detrimental use of the Internet. Such instruction will need to be delivered through adult education classes, churches, and grammar, middle, and high school systems. As distance learning and education become available online, this training will also become available through the Internet itself. Given the nature of the problem, it is also to be expected that funding for such classes will come from local, national, and international sources.

Part of this training will involve how parents and children communicate about sexuality. As with every other complicated and potentially harmful activity, parents must spend time on the Internet with their children if they expect them to develop responsible Internet skills. The children who will best succeed to absorb the values taught by their parents are those who are allowed to discuss these values with their parents and friends, retain a sense of themselves, and have those values reinforced by educational experiences through schools and libraries.

Children, teens, and adults can benefit maximally from the Internet if they have learned and integrated the values that help them make positive choices to stay away from relationship and sexual abuses of the Internet, such as involved with the deceit and betrayal of cyber-infidelity.

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* Much gratitude is extended to those who helped clarify, amplify and
edit the material used in this article:
Michael Erickson, Ph.D.; Les Posen, Ph.D.; Rona Subotnik, MFT; and John Suler, Ph.D.

References
Spender, D. (1995). Nattering on the net: women, power and cyberspace. North Melbourne: Spinifex Press.

Dr. Maheu is an author, speaker, and researcher. She is the lead author of E-Health, Telehealth & Telemedicine: A Guide to Program Startup and Success co-written with Pamela Whitten and Ace Allen, published by Jossey-Bass: San Francisco. Infidelity on the Internet is Dr. Maheu's second book and she's currently working her third, tentatively titled "The Mental Health Professional Online: New Questions and Answers." For more information about her speaking schedule, see this page: http://telehealth.net/speak.html