Are you suicidal?
Is there someone you know is who is?
What to do!

Warning signs:

• Threatening suicide
• Preoccupation with death
• Making arrangements, setting one's affairs in order
• Depression (crying, sleep problems, not eating, hopelessness)
• Reckless Behavior
• Has had recent major losses

Here are some facts about suicide from the National Institute of Mental Health. Their report in 1996 reveals the following concerning completed suicides in the United States in 1993.

Did you know that:

• Suicide is the 9th leading cause of deaths.
• The total number of deaths from suicide in 1993 was 31,102.
• Teen suicide is on the rise. Between 1950 and 1992, suicide among adolescents nearly tripled.
• Suicide by firearms is the most common method for both men and women, accounting for 61% of all suicides.
• More women than men die of suicide, the ratio is 4"1.
• Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people 15 to 24 years of age.
• The highest rate of suicide is for persons over 65.
• Reliable research has found that there are approximately 8-25 attempts to one completion.

What are some risk factors?

• Risk factors for suicide occur frequently in combination with other risk factors.
• Scientific research has shown that almost all people who kill themselves have a diagnosable mental or substance abuse disorder, the majority have more than one disorder.
• Adverse life events in combination with another strong risk factor such as a mental or substance abuse disorder.

Family factors that contribute to risk:

• A family history with mental or substance abuse disorder
• Family history of suicide
• Family violence including physical, emotional and sexual abuse

Other risk factors include:

• Prior suicide attempt
• Firearm in the home
• Incarceration
• Exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, including family, peers, and/or media news or fiction stories.

Suicide Leftovers:

Suicide leaves a sea of guilt and a mountain of questions. Whether or not one could do something to prevent a death can not be answered completely once someone dies but the questioning remains in various degrees with those who are left. Questions such as: "If I had only..." plague survivors. No one can answer the question for you but perhaps the following will help you in reference to the following three situations.

1. with someone you are concerned about
2. if you yourself are suicidal
3. if you have lost someone to suicide.

Myths related to suicide:

• Suicidal behaviors are not normal responses to life stresses.
• The majority of suicide attempts are expression of extreme distress that need to be addressed and not just a harmless bid for attention.
• People who talk about suicide won't really do it. NOT TRUE! Most talk about their intentions directly and indirectly before they do. An indirect remark might be that someone would be better of without them.
• Talking about suicide may give someone the idea. NOT TRUE!
• If a person is determined to kill him/herself, nothing is going to stop the. NOT TRUE!

10 Tips About What To Do:

1. When you hear direct or indirect comments, don't be afraid to talk about it. Not talking about it does not reduce the threat and may send the wrong message that you don't care.
2. Listen, take what they say as their truth.
3. Don't deal with this alone, tell others of your concern and what you heard.
4. Call a professional counselor to get their opinion. Consult your local library for local hot line and crisis numbers.
5. Form a small army to share the concern about this person. Resist being pushed away, people who are seriously suicidal often act in ways that push people away.
6. Realize that for most people, feeling suicidal is temporary. Problems and issues may not become resolved without professional help. Encourage your loved one to make an appointment with a mental health professional in your area.
7. Offer reasons you can think of that they may want to live for. Gently remind them that they may not want to pass on suicide as a coping strategy to people that they care about.
8. If you can, form a watch schedule with others to be with and/or check up on your person of concern around the clock until danger passes.
9. Give yourself permission to break a confidence if you have promised not to tell, in doing so you may save a life.
10. Get some support for yourself, let others know what you are dealing with and ask for additional support.

And remember if you are the one who is suicidal, apply these tips to yourself.

4/15/98

Connie Saindon, M.A., MFT, has been a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist since 1979. In addition to providing services for Individuals, couples and families, Ms. Saindon is among the few specialists in the field of violent death bereavement. Founder the Survivors of Violent Death Program and volunteer faculty at the University of California Medical School Department of Psychiatry, she is author of The Journey, Violent Death Bereavement: Adult Survivors Workbook and contributing author of Violent Death: Resilience and Intervention beyond the Crisis. To reach her, please see this page.