WARTIME STRESS SURVIVAL TIPS
by Mark Gokin, LICSW
In light of the terrorist tragedy, here are some survival tips
and strategies:
- Engage in Anticipatory Grieving. For some, this will entail
active protesting or rallying, pro or con. For others, the
expression of anger or anxiety needs to be private, prayerful and
quiet. Whatever your mode of expression, know that you may be an
emotional roller coaster racing through highs and lows of a
war-charged grief cycle. Memories of previous loss - not
necessarily war-related - may be stirred by our current crisis.
This is not a logical experience but a psycho-logical one. And
if, or when, you sense you need an ear, a shoulder, a hug,
please...reach out. Or touch someone who does. And don't forget
the kids. They, especially, need an adult pillar if not, also, a
teddy bear, doll or pet to help manage separation stress and
their runaway imagination.
- Find Strength in Numbers. Whether it's a dear friend who lost
her 20 year old daughter in a car crash or the disparate folks
grappling with life most people long for some group solace and
support. Peers who are there or who have been there can truly be
"Compassionate Friends." Despite wartime slogans and solidarity,
KNOWING or, even, knowing the stress of war introduces us, even
if only for a fleeting moment, to our absolutely indivisible,
frightful, existential aloneness. Try not to run or hide, unless
you must. Better to stand fast, then feel and share...or share
and feel.
- Adapt "The Four 'R's of Burnout Recovery. Activities
that are meant to be restorative after the fact may be therapeutically
applied in anticipation of the battlefront:
- Running. Start a regimen of running, jogging, brisk walking,
or endorphins pumping, jumping routine. It's not "runner's high"
but a runner's calm that's biochemically induced. This chemical
influx helps slow a racing mind and helps lift a sluggish mood.
Also, aerobic exercise is great for grounding you when feeling
vulnerable or when life feels uncertain and up in the air.
There's a beginning and end point with a tangible sense of
control and accomplishment.
- Reading. In my darkest hours, I always return to reading
humorous stories, for the sense of absurdity and for the
endorphins. As the comedic genius, Charlie Chaplin, observed: The
paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it's precisely the
tragic, which arouses the funny. We have to laugh due to our
sense of helplessness in the face of natural forces (and in
order) not to go crazy. Also, laughter has been likened to "inner
jogging." Laughing with gusto is like turning your body into a
big vibrator giving vital organs a brief but hardy internal
massage.
- Retreating. Now most associations to the word "retreat" in a
military context are not so positive. However, for me the word
means finding a refuge, a sanctum, a safe haven where one can
tend to wounds, reflect on the current psychosocial upheavals and
listen for our inner core, the emotional essence of who we are.
Here one discovers or, at least, realizes the need for a higher
power - a spiritual and communal connection with nature, humanity
and/or the great mysterious beyond.
- Writing. Especially in the void of wartime separation, writing
(or recording a message) to loved ones becomes the vital bridge
to heart and home. But writing also can be a source of
self-discovery and a tool for keeping the faith. Journaling
through angst and loss is a time-honored tradition. And
contemporary research indicates that writing, especially when we
take the time to express and analyze our emotions can help us
hold on in a stormy sea of stress.
Hopefully, this war will be averted. And yet, any crisis, as the Chinese noted
thousands of years ago, brings both danger and opportunity. So, I will
close with words penned years ago during a double-edged turbulent period
of my life: Whether the loss is a key person, a desired position or
a powerful illusion, each deserves the respect of a mourning. The pit
in the stomach the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs
prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like Spring upon Winter,
the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal. With thoughts
of grace and, as always...Practice Safe Stress! 09/14/01
Mark Gorkin is a Licensed Clinical Social
Worker, speaker, trainer and "Online Psychohumorist," known throughout the web,
AOL, and the nation as "The Stress Doc." Specialty areas: organizational change
and conflict, team building, creativity and humor. (1616 18th Street, NW #312,
Washington, DC 20009-2530, (202) 232-8662).
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