Failure is success if we learn from it.
-Malcolm S. Forbes
Many people have tried to stay nicotine free in the past, and have failed. There is something to be learned by looking back at exactly what happened during those times. Often you can predict your future difficulities if you take a moment to remember your past failures. Your methods of coping with relapse situations probably haven't changed much if you haven't worked at learning new skills, so learning is crucial for success this time.
The following questions are provided to help you remember the most difficult things you have experienced in becoming nicotine free so that this time you can successfully prepare for the same challenges you faced in the past. But this time, you can deal with these challenges by learning new skills and making your expectations more realistic. Take this activity seriously. It is one of the best ways you can help yourself.
Please note: The checkboxes are just an easy way to keep track of your answers. This is not an interactive form, so your answers are not recorded and your privacy is assured.
If you have tried to become nicotine free for more than a few hours before:
1. What were you actually physically doing the hours before you started using tobacco again?
2. Was alcohol involved when you started using tobacco again?
3. After you become nicotine free, did you suffer any withdrawal symptoms?
If yes, please check the symptoms that you experienced:
4. Did any of these withdrawal symptoms contribute to your decision to
start using nicotine again?
5. Were you experiencing any of the following stressors when you started
using nicotine again? Please check appropriate boxes.
loss of a close friend or relative
gain of a new family member
divorce
death of a close family member
change in job status
death of a close friend
recent move
personal injury or illness
marriage
change in health of a family member
marital separation
son or daughter leaving home
pregnancy
trouble with in-laws
other: ___________________
other: ___________________
6. Were you experiencing any particular feeling, such as being "bored,"
when you started using nicotine? Look over the list below to identify
possible feelings that you'll need to learn new coping skills to manage
during the process of becoming nicotine free.
abandoned
frightened
miserable
afraid
frusterated
misunderstood
angry
grateful
panicky
anxious
guilty
pressured
ashamed
happy
proud
bored
hopeless
regretful
confused
humiliated
relaxed
disappointed
hurt
sad
discouraged
ignored
seductive
disliked
inferior
stressed
embarrassed
jealous
tense
empty
lonely
uncomfortable
enthusiastic
loved
upset
foolish
mad
worried
4-17-08
Dr. Maheu is an author, speaker, and researcher. She is the lead author of E-Health, Telehealth & Telemedicine: A Guide to Program Startup and Success co-written with Pamela Whitten and Ace Allen, published by Jossey-Bass: San Francisco.
Infidelity on the Internet is Dr. Maheu's second book and she's currently working her third, tentatively titled "The Mental Health Professional Online: New Questions and Answers."
For more information about her speaking schedule, see this page: http://telehealth.net/speak.html
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