What can I do? My virtual lover told me to buzz off, won't answer my mail, and has put my sexual fantasies online for the world to see. HELP!!
	I really want to meet my virtual lover in real life. We're planning a meeting in Aspen in a month. How do I know he's not an axe-murderer? My friends tell me I'm crazy, but I've just got to do it.

In the comfort of your home, door locked and phone within reach, it may seem safe to meet someone from the other side of the planet in a dating chat room. Other people decide to leave the relative safety of dating websites and communicate in email with their newfound loves. Yet others give their telephone numbers for the heightened pleasure of hearing their lover's voice, breaths, and sighs. Each of these steps is movement away from anonymity, and as we shall demonstrate in this booklet, movement toward higher risk. We, therefore, do not advocate your use or non-use of any of these technologies, but rather want to help you understand how to keep yourself safe.

*Much gratitude is extended to those who helped clarify, amplify, and edit the material used in this article, Rona Subotnik, MA; Les Posen, Ph.D.; Manny Tau, Ph.D.; Martha Bank, Ph.D.; Rosalie Ackerman, Ph.D.; Thomas Williams, Ph.D.; and Cleo Kiernan.

12/01/01

Dr. Maheu is an author, speaker, and researcher. She is the lead author of E-Health, Telehealth & Telemedicine: A Guide to Program Startup and Success co-written with Pamela Whitten and Ace Allen, published by Jossey-Bass: San Francisco. Infidelity on the Internet is Dr. Maheu's second book and she's currently working her third, tentatively titled "The Mental Health Professional Online: New Questions and Answers." For more information about her speaking schedule, see this page: http://telehealth.net/speak.html