SelfhelpMagazine

by Dr. Al Cooper and Dr. Coralie Scherer

You are asking several questions, so we will take them 1 at a time. First, the withdrawal method of birth control is akin to using no birth control at all. It is when a man takes his penis out of a woman’s vagina (or “pulls out”) before he ejaculates, or has an orgasm. This stops his sperm from going to the woman's egg in her cervix. “Pulling out” can be difficult for a man to do successfully because it requires a lot of self-control. Some men take pride in their ability to withdraw that is, until they fail.

Even if you and your partner use withdrawal, sperm can be released before the man pulls out. When a man’s penis first becomes erect, pre-ejaculate fluid may be on the tip of the penis. This fluid has sperm in it. So a woman could still get pregnant. Withdrawal then, just not a reasonable choice for safe intercourse.

Why You Shouldn't Use The Withdrawal Method

• To answer your second question, it only takes one sperm to impregnate an egg and one drop of semen contains millions of sperm. (And "pre-cum" contains one to several drops!) Therefore, when using the withdrawal method you are exposing your partner to millions of sperm.

• While you didn't ask, we'll aslo tell you something else that you many want to know: if you've not both been tested and shown to be "negative" for the AIDS virus for 6 months prior to intercourse, and if you've been monogamous with only this partner, by using the withdrawl you may also be exposing each other to the AIDS virus and/or any wide variety of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

Only 1 form of birth control is recommended for 100% safety against pregnancy: abstinence.  Even the Pill has a 4% failure rate. For safety against STDs, birth control pills and most other birth control methods will not protect you, including HIV (the virus that causes AIDS). They only protect against pregnancy. The male latex condom is the only birth control method proven to help protect you from STIs, including HIV. If you are allergic to latex, polyurethane condoms are a good alternative. Research is being done to find out how effective the female condom is at preventing STIs and HIV.

It is important to only use latex or polyurethane condoms to protect you from STIs. "Natural” or “lambskin” condoms have tiny pores that may allow for the passage of viruses like HIV, hepatitis B, and herpes. If you use non-lubricated condoms for vaginal or anal sex, you can add lubrication with water-based lubricants (like K-Y jelly) that you can buy at a drug store. Never use oil-based products, such as massage oils, baby oil, lotions, or petroleum jelly, to lubricate a condom. These will weaken the condom, causing it to tear or break.

The dental dam is a square piece of rubber that is used by dentists during oral surgery and other procedures. It is not a method of birth control. But it can be used to help protect people from STIs, including HIV, during oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. It is placed over the opening to the vagina or the anus before having oral sex. You can buy dental dams at surgical supply stores.

Ideally, with a new partner, you should use a condom to protect both you and your partner from AIDS and STDs. Minimally, use a condom every time you have sex with any partner, and not the withdrawal method if you want to avoid pregnancy. Speak to your physician, psychotherapist or pharmacist about maximizing your chances of success for keeping safe. Whatever you do, keep being smart and keep educating yourself. You can never know too much about these issues.

About the Author:

Dr. Al Cooper, was the clinical director at the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Centre (408-248-9737) and ran the training program for Counseling and Psychological Services at Stanford University. Dr. Cooper was internationally known for his work in sexuality.

Dr. Coralie Scherer coordinates online services for the Centre and specializes in sexual trauma, women's issues, and marital therapy.