Self-help Articles

by Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

Most people are afraid of rejection just as they are afraid of failure. However, without taking a chance there can be no possibility of success. When it comes to relationships, just as with most things in life, there are ways to increase the probability of success by making better choices.

1. Ask yourself what ten to fifteen characteristics you would like in a mate. Make a list.
2. Then ask yourself where you would more likely find people who possess these characteristics. If you are looking for someone with similar interests to your own, where would you find such people? Increase your odds of finding a potential candidate by only frequenting places that you enjoy even if you are alone.
3. When you meet someone who you find attractive, rate that person on a scale of 1-10 of characteristics on the list. If the person does not receive an average score of 7 or better, move on.
4. When you talk with men, ask about their beliefs, values, previous relationships, attitudes, and interests. Then listen carefully to their responses. While you should not make it like an interview, you should gain as much information as possible before getting involved.

If you were seeking someone to become partners with in business, you would do a great deal of investigating before making the commitment. It should be no different when you are seeking a mate.

For further information on the topic of learning to trust men, I suggest you read my article entitled, Someone Right for You, which can be found on this site, and read my book of the same title which, can be purchased through the Amazing Bookstore Catalog at this site.

About the Author:

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years. He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation, couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and assessment. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.