by LuAnn Pierce, MSW, CMSW

This question is a tricky one to answer. Ordinarily a parent does have to consent for a minor to talk to a counselor or social worker.

However, teen counseling services are available without parent consent under very specific circumstances. This article will describe those and then give you suggestions for how to proceed if you qualify.

Under What Circumstances Can I Get Teen Counseling
School social workers and other teen counseling professionals can talk to minors without consent if you need help because you are being abused or neglected by your parents. Most parents would not consent to their child telling the authorities that they have mistreated their child.

In case you need clarification about what is considered "abuse" or "neglect," these are the most common definitions:

Physical Abuse is when an adult hits a minor with a closed fist or object and leaves a mark on his or her body.

Sexual Abuse is when an adult touches a minor's private parts, threatens or coerces them to perform sexual acts or touch their or another person's private parts. Also, showing a minor pictures or videos of sex acts is considered abusive.

Physical Neglect is when an adult who is responsible for your care and well being does not provide you with the basic necessities such as food, appropriate clothing for the weather or shelter. This also includes getting you medical assistance when needed, whether that is for immunizations or seeing a doctor when you are really sick.

Educational Neglect is when an adult who is responsible for your well being does not send you to school to ensure that you get an education until the age it is legal to quit school in your state.

In the event that you are being abused or neglected in any way, do not wait to report this. Most cities and towns have a child abuse hot line number in the yellow pages or business pages of the phone book. Abuse needs to be reported immediately for your own protection. If you need to talk to the social worker about something besides these kinds of problems, you may need the consent of a parent.

However, another option is to call a hot line and talk to a counselor who can tell you more about the laws and services in your area. Many will talk to you about your problem and can help you solve those problems or steer you toward someone who can.

Here are some numbers you may try:

• ChildHelp USA 1-800-4-A-CHILD
  Assists any child or teen with any problem including, but not limited to: running away, physical abuse, sexual abuse. Referrals for children, teens as well as adults. 24 hours.
• Youth Development International 24-hour Youth Crisis Hot line 1-800-HIT-HOME
• National Runaway Switchboard 800-621-4000
• National Drug Abuse Hot Line 800-662-4357
• CDC AIDS Info 800-342-2437
• National Hot line for Missing & Exploited Children 800-843-5678
• Youth Crisis Hot Line 800-448-4663

Some states also allow you to talk to a social worker or other licensed mental health practitioner if you are pregnant or have been raped. Check your state's website to see for yourself what your state laws allow you to do, with or without your parent's consent.

When you are on those websites, write down and call those agencies related to minors, even if they do not seem to specifically addres your concern. State agency workers usually know what the state law is and might be able to refer you to another number to someone who can help.

If you need help, be persistent. Calling state numbers is rarely fun or easy. You might get shuffled to a dozen other numbers before you finally reach the right person.

Don't let it bother you. You've probably made a dozen other calls in a single day to reach someone you care about, right? So do this for yourself. Keep at it, even if it takes you a few days of calling. It's someone's job in every state to tell teens their rights. You job is just to find them!

Another route is to look into your city telephone directory for counselors or psychologists who specialize in working with adolescents. If you call them, they will probably call you back. They will probably know your state law and where you can go for help. Most professionals will be glad to give you a few minutes to point you in the right direction.

Most parents try to protect their kids. Some parents have not yet grown up themselves or have their own serious mental disorders. Sometimes parents think they are helping you when in fact, they are not. That's why many states have created and enforce laws to protect minors (and the mental health professionals you see) when you seek teen help without parental permission.

Don't wait to get help. Especially if you or someone you know is being harmed or in any danger, make those calls immediately!

Best of luck!

About the Author:

LuAnn Pierce, MSW, CMSW is the author of Growing up Sane (in uncertain times), Seminar Leader Growing Well Adjusted Kids, Editor-in-Chief Person to Person: Strengthening Youth & Families and Telephone Counselor Affinity Counseling Center.