Self-help Articles

by Dr. Al Cooper and Dr. Coralie Scherer

It's easy to see why you feel confused. Sexual attraction can develop in friendships whither you are heterosexual or homosexual.

Some Common Sexual Attraction Developments

• Many people who are primarily heterosexual occasionally find themselves developing a sexual attraction to others of the same gender
• Many lesbian and gay people occasionally find themselves attracted to others of the opposite gender.
• There are also people who identify as bisexual and are attracted to both men and women.

How To Handle Sexual Attraction In Friendships

Your friendship may suffer if you tell your friend how you are feeling. However, it may improve. If you tell your friend you are feeling physically attracted to him and don't know whether he feels the same, the opportunity to talk about it may increase the emotional intimacy between you, regardless of whether you become physically intimate.

You may find some of the publications offered by P-FLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) helpful. You can reach them through our Resources Department.

You show a lot of courage by being honest with yourself about your new sexual attraction.

About the Author:

Dr. Al Cooper, was the clinical director at the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Centre (408-248-9737) and ran the training program for Counseling and Psychological Services at Stanford University. Dr. Cooper was internationally known for his work in sexuality.

Dr. Coralie Scherer coordinates online services for the Centre and specializes in sexual trauma, women's issues, and marital therapy.