Self-help Articles

by John Suler, Ph.D.

The scent of perfume, hair, clothes, skin. The sense of smell brings us very close to the other. It stirs up powerful emotional reactions.

The sense of taste brings us closer still. It's the sensation of lovers. One might say that smell and taste are rather "primitive" interpersonal sensations, but both are the cornerstones of deep intimacy -- maybe because they ARE so primitive, so fundamental.

In addition to touch, smell and taste are the primary ways an infant connects to its mother. It is one's very first, essential relationship that serves as the prototype for all later relationships in one's life.

On this level of relating, a cyberspace relationship (CSR) falls flat on its nose-less, tongue-less face. Will computers ever be able to duplicate smells and tastes and then accurately transmit those sensations to another person hundreds and thousands of miles away?

Don't hold your breath. As with tactile sensations, when it comes to the dimensions of the sense of smell and taste in intimate relationships, in-person relationships (IPR) win hands down over CSR.

About the Author:

John Suler, Ph.D. is Professor of Psychology at Rider University and a practicing clinical psychologist. He has published on psychotherapy, mental imagery, and eastern philosophy. He currently maintains several web sites.