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Use This Key Element to Seek Forgiveness
by Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D.
Sadly, we cannot make someone forgive us. The decision to forgive is not something we can control. What we can control, however, is the manner in which we seek forgiveness and the willingness we make available to make amends.
The key element in seeking someone else's forgiveness is the communication that we are willing to help that person heal by listening to their hurt. To often, we ask forgiveness but then, when the wounded person wants to talk about it, we get defensive.
So, in seeking forgiveness, make sure before you start that you are willing to listen to the other person's hurt without trying to explain or justify yourself.
Amends involves making restoration if necessary. For instance, if you steal $500 from me then seek forgiveness, I think my forgiveness will come more easily if you also present a plan for getting me back my $500!
About the Author:
Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.
Revised 04/25/10 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.
i hurt the boy who love me and who i`m crazy about it.
i can`t live without him...
how do I know if someone has forgiven me?
Wow! Thankyou! Oh my gosh! My BFF thinks I'm slack because I told Holly over facebook chat her parents are half dead (its true) but Holly says I'm a slack b***h and I should die. And then all my friends have turned against me for some reason. I'm so sad. I don't know what to do.
actually my teacher is really mad at me because i broke one of the vases in our room... i was actually chatting with my friends and i heard something broke like a glass then i saw our vase shattered i heart beat started beating fast. i want to say sorry and i don't even think i was the one who broke it it is, i didn't even feel like i touched it. but since i was the one near the vase they blamed me....