SelfhelpMagazine

by Robert Chapman, Dipl., Cert. PSR

Schizophrenia can ebb and flow. Symptoms include hallucinations and delusions. I would like to give you a window into some of my delusions and how I deal with them.

Counter-arguing Delusions:

The counter-arguing phase is a testing, or investigating, phase. An attempt is made to deny the delusion's claim to be real. Direct disconfirming evidence and hypothetical "what if" contradictions can also be useful. One should develop the strongest arguments possible against the falsehoods of his delusions.

Investigating alternative explanations became necessary for me. After a while of suspecting that some heavy-duty things were arranged in a plot against me, I began to think there must be another explanation.

One day I checked the ducts, vents, and radiators in my apartment walls, ceilings, and floors for hidden cameras and recording devices. I searched areas where I suspected someone might be hidden, watching me.

After finding no such things in any of the places in which I lived and visited, I began a phase of arguing for proof. I convinced myself that, first of all, I was not guilty of espionage or anything that would warrant someone spying on my actions.

Secondly, installing cameras and other monitoring equipment not only requires a lot of money, but skilled person-power. To do so would be tedious and time consuming. An operation such as I had suspected to be going on inside my walls and the walls of other places is a ridiculous idea.

Another day I had to go somewhere. On the way, I had to stop at a fast-food restaurant to use the restroom. While in the restroom, I had the same suspicions of being spied upon.

The idea of being spied upon became all the more ridiculous. The wall in which I thought there was surveillance equipment and perhaps a person in there operating it was thick solid brick. I heard no hollow sounds when I tapped on it.

I did not beforehand expect to make this restroom pit stop. How could my persecutors know that I was going to make an unexpected stop at this restroom? How could they set up the spying equipment so fast?

It is also delusional to believe that a psychic courier was set up to track my thoughts and whereabouts. Because spirits can't install and operate spying equipment somebody would have to be very sharp and shifty to arrange this nonsense.

Another day I visited the dentist's office reception area which was on the other side of my downtown apartment wall. I made up a phony inquiry about possibly switching to this dentist. I might have been perceived by the receptionist as being awkward and questionable but I didn't care.

I was interested in seeing if there was some kind of access into the wall we both shared. As I talked with the receptionist and kneaded the calling card given me, I noticed that there was no access or holes into what appeared to be a thick, solid, wall.

An attempt is made to learn the objective truth about what is happening with respect to my delusions as well as what is not happening. I measured the delusions against my awareness of reality.

In time, I became encouraged in developing an ability to distinguish unreality from reality. I approached situations, circumstances, objects and other people looking to find out if my beliefs were delusory. I trusted that this would work.

Belief modification deals with the least strongly held beliefs first. Paranoia gripped me to the point where I felt totally powerless and oppressed. I felt I had no control over my perceived persecutor.

My delusions couldn't hide from the truth for ever. I learned that reality isn't "too much" if it's taken in small doses! I was able to say, "perhaps there isn't anyone out to get me!"

Replacing Delusions in Schizophrenia With Objective Truth:

After the counter-arguing phase, one needs to replace delusions with reality. The emphasis is on replacing what is recognized to be false with what is recognized to be true.

While on trial in the court of the law of reality, a delusion is found guilty of purporting to be true. Rational thinking "How?" does the cross-examination. Disconfirming evidence is brought to bear.

No substantial evidence proves the delusion believable. Because of its charge - imitating a truth and conspiring to induce gross deceptions with extortionary ideas, the delusion is sentenced to leave the belief system with no chance of parole.

It is replaced with the truth that brought it to prosecution. The only way a false belief can exist in one's mind is if a person were to honor it with a chance of appeal by believing it again.

Because of the disturbing quality and intensity of my delusions, I wanted to see to it that they were stopped and remained inactive. I devised an effective approach to ending my delusions. I stood my ground.

I assertively convinced myself saying, for example, "There is no one after me. I will not allow myself to be misled and deceived anymore. As much as these strange beliefs seem awfully real, I will continue to investigate them." This was my self-talk.

I managed to establish a stability of mind through a rational apprehension of "opposites." For every extremity, there exists its opposite. Significant polarities were forefront in my thoughts - delusion versus reality, irrational versus rational, falseness versus truth, subjective versus objective.

I began to realize that there is a big clue to recovery in all of this - delusions are opposite to reality. To establish a replacement belief, I had to disbelieve an existing belief.

For me, replacing a delusive belief simply meant not believing it anymore. Replacing a delusion means canceling it with "disbelief." Recognition and acceptance of truth and reality replaces false ideas.

I think that if there is a tendency to re-believe a delusion somewhat, then a person hasn't argued and investigated enough. In my elimination of delusive thoughts, my conscious mind believes that my past delusions were wrong.

I feel affirmed that delusional thinking could not occur in my mind anymore. I know that the paranoid beliefs I had were delusional. I know that I don't have to believe them. This is how I live with my schizophrenia.

Based on the book, On Second Thought - Eliminating Paranoid Delusions In Schizophrenia ©1998 / 313 pages / 5½X8½" comb bound / ISBN 0-9698637-0-5.