Self-help Articles

by David M. Buss, Ph.D. & Todd K Shackelford, Ph.D.

Finding someone with whom you want to be in a committed relationship is difficult; but making the relationship last may be even more difficult. Evolutionary psychologists examined "mate retention tactics" in U.S. men and women and found these tactics include being overly watchful and threatening violence. Different gender strategies to save relationship were discovered.

Study: Different Gender Strategies To Save Relationship

To assess attributes valued in partners and how they keep their marriages intact, David M. Buss, Ph.D. and Todd K. Shackelford, Ph.D. of the University of Texas at Austin assessed 214 married people.

Men, more than women, admitted that they used their social status and financial success as a tactic to keep their mate interested in them, said the authors. Men also reported these other two tactics to keep their wives:

• making promises of change and
• making threats of sexual betrayal.

Women were also more likely than men to work on their physical appearance as a tactic to keep their mate interested. Men admitted to making more attempts at making more attempts to stay married to what they considered an "attractive" mate.

With regard to infidelity, "If a man suspected that his wife was cheating," said Dr. Buss, "he would try and keep his wife from public activities, threaten punishment and criticize other men ... Interestingly, women who suspected their husbands of infidelity did not work at the marriage any harder than those without suspicions."

Unfortunately, some male strategies involved behaviors that are identified as early indicators of the physical abuse of wives, said the authors. For example, in an earlier study, 72 percent of women requiring medical attention reported that their husbands limited their contact with family and friends, insisted on knowing the women's whereabouts and called the women names.

Reference:

"From Vigilance to Violence: Mate Retention Tactics in Married Couples" by David M. Buss, Ph.D. & Todd K. Shackelford, Ph.D., University of Texas at Austin, in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 72, No. 2.

This information received from the American Psychological Association (APA), in Washington, DC.