Self-help Articles

by Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

This is a very good question. When a long time relationship ends, both members have grieving to do. The one who chose to end it may have made the right decision, but it's still a loss.

Grieving involves sadness and anger and can't be hurried -- and it takes some people longer than others to do the emotional work.

Also, sometimes part of the grieving happens before the couple has officially ended their relationship -- that's because one or both of them may have realized it was over long before the public ending. I really can't give you a recommended time for grieving.

What I suggest you do is look at whether your new friend is still expressing anger, sadness, or other strong feelings about the breakup and, if so, if she's able to recognize those feelings and deal with them.

Emotional health isn't necessarily being done with a process: it's having the ability to recognize what you're feeling and respond in a healthy way. Rebound relationships, like all relationships, need to be viewed individually.

About the Author:

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years. He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation, couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and assessment. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.