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Priest Abuse? Begin to Heal Your Pain

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by Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D.

 
Question: When I was 11 or 12 years old, I was sexually molested by a parish priest. He has since left the priesthood and lives in another town. I find myself struggling with tremendous rage about priest abuse.

I wish I could reconnect with some of the good things about Catholicism but every time I try to go to Mass, I get angry. Can you help?

As a fellow Catholic, I find the entire pedophile scandal and the manner the Catholic hierarchy has handled it to be a deep embarrassment and a source of deep sadness. Many priests used their power and position to their own ends.

So first of all, I hope you are clear with the reality that you were not at fault. Your rage is understandable. This type of abuse constitutes a very deep betrayal with serious spiritual consequences.

Many persons abused by priests further felt betrayed by Catholicism. One suggestion then is that you write this ex-priest a letter which you won't mail and in which you give free rein to your rage. Let him have it, cuss words and all!

Second, you may want to look into what if any mechanism your local Catholic diocese has set up to address the needs of victims of priest abuse. While many diocese have not handled this issue well, nonetheless you may have some recourse.

You may be able to receive help at no cost to yourself. Such action may also gave you some relief by speaking out and holding someone accountable for their actions.

Finally, with or without the financial help of your local diocese, I would encourage you to find a therapist who is familiar with issues related to sexual abuse and who is also comfortable addressing spiritual issues.

He/she may be able to help you ease your rage and also reclaim a spiritual path. That path may not necessarily be through Catholicism but remember -- there are many paths to the same point. Healing from priest abuse may or may not take you on another path.

About the Author:

Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.

Originally published 03/15/98
Revised 07/30/2010 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.

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Anonymous
Posted on Tue, 06/02/2009 - 14:45

An eye opener towards the realms of our spirituality. I urge you to through the links and let know your comments by posting it below. thank you