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Partner Relationship Need a Pick-Me-Up?

by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.

 
Question: My partner and I have been together for over 4 wonderful years, and I don't know what happened to the partner relationship we once had. I fell for her because she was so easy to talk to and now we hardly talk at all.

She's been real depressed since her surgery, but she's been taking medicine for depression so I thought the depression would go away. We fight all the time. Please help.

Sounds like it's been a rough time for both of you. It's no fun living with someone who is severely depressed, and it's no fun being depressed.

There are several different questions you might want to explore. Do you have good support systems? Friends, a member of the clergy, relatives? If not, you need to find people to talk with. None of us functions well in isolation.

Does your partner relationship need help with communication? If so, couples counseling might be appropriate.

Is your partner's depression related to the surgery? If so, she might want to consider finding a therapist. Also, if your partner thinks the antidepressant isn't working, has she told whoever is prescribing it?

If either or both of you decide to look for a psychotherapist, try either the nearest gay and lesbian center or, if you're in the U.S., your state psychological association for a referral. You can also check the Selfhelpmagazine.com Depression section for informative articles.

About the Author:

Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D. is an author and psychologist. She has a psychotherapy practice in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Bernstein speaks and writes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people for both general and professional audiences, and is the author of the audiotape, NOT HETEROSEXUAL: An Educational Program About Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People.

Originally published 03/13/98
Revised 11/26/08 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.
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