Self-help Articles

by Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

Your marriage sounds very rocky with many issues in need of resolution: jealousy, relations with parents, possessiveness, and unemployment. There are probably other issues as well. All relationships take two parties to create conflict. Even if only one person learns more effective ways of communicating, it can greatly improve the relationship. Thus, I see three possible courses of action open to you:

1. You could do nothing and hope that your wife returns. Of course the chances are that if she returns, your marriage will return to where it was and the problems will continue. If she doesn't return, you will still be the same possessive, jealous, controlling guy you have always been. It is likely that you will find yourself in similar circumstances again.
2. 2. While you are waiting, you could seek professional help yourself so that you can get a better understanding of your jealousy and controlling behavior. At least by seeking help you might be able to avoid the same problems with others. This will also help you to relate to your wife more effectively should she return. It may also help you demonstrate thathave changed which could affect her decision to return.
3. 3. You could suggest to your wife that you both seek professional marriage counseling. A marriage counselor might be able to help you both understand how you are contributing to the stress and your marriage and assist you in finding better ways to communicate. Once you learn how to communicate you might be able to find workable solutions to your marital struggle.

About the Author:

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years. He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation, couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and assessment. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.