Self-help Articles

by Tom Heuerman, Ph.D. with Diane Olson, Ph.D.

I walked into the hotel conference room and overheard the labor relations manager talking to a union represented employee. The executive was belittling the "touchy-feely" things we were doing in interest-based negotiations. I was the facilitator and was taken aback because the manager spoke in the opposite way when he talked with me privately.

I shouldn't have been surprised that this man felt threatened by "touchy- feely" things like being authentic, telling the truth, and putting the anger the parties felt for one another on the table for examination and discussion. After all, he works in an organization where inauthenticity reigns, where little truth is told, and where executives wouldn't know a feeling if it hit them in the face. The large company is bureaucratic, paternalistic, and soul-less.

A revolving door of "heroic" managers try continually to "fix" this company. Most are linear and literal thinkers, and their thinking is incongruent with the results they want to achieve. They do the same things over and over again hoping for different outcomes which is crazy. They do not learn how to think differently. They do learn how to become more insidiously paternalistic.

Executives express anger at "resistant" employees and blame them and the union for their "failure" to change in the ways management wants them to change. Employees and the union are contemptuous of and ridicule management. The "leaders" of this organization do not understand that employees maintain their integrity and identities by resisting change that is poorly conceived, planned, explained, and led.

After each failure, executives find a scapegoat to blame (a former "heroic" leader) and repeat the same destructive pattern of behaviors with a new hero. The organization's landscape is littered with the deeply wounded "heroic" leaders who, with good intentions, did their best to change things. The few who do understand how the organization needs to change are a threat to the status-quo and are neutralized and marginalized--cast aside because they know and speak the truth. Others with insight leave the organization or go underground.

In the past, the mechanistic model of leadership and organization may have made sense, at least from an efficiency standpoint. Markets were stable, and products were standardized and mass marketed. Employees were compliant and did what they were told. Only a few were required to be creative.

Competition was limited and predictable. Customer expectations were low and choices few. Technological breakthroughs were rare. Natural resources were plentiful. Employees (including executives) carried out their daily tasks in a mindless and repetitive way.

The marketplace is different today. We live in a world undergoing fundamental transformation at all levels (see pamphlet 17: The Times in Which We Live). Everything is turned upside down. The old rules for success no longer work. People, not machines, are recognized increasingly as the source of competitive advantage. To be sustainable, organizations need committed employees who think, are creative, work effectively with others, and make good decisions quickly.

In the discontinuous world of digitalization, deregulation, and globalization, organizations require leaders more highly evolved than the relics of a bygone era still in power in many of our enterprises. The "leaders" of the above company don't realize that the competitive advantage in their "hard" industry lie in the "soft" skills they fear so much. What are the "touchy-feely" skills and characteristics new leaders need to lead sustainable organizations in the 21st century? (Technical expertise and cognitive skills are assumed.)

New leaders are committed to the truth and to seeing reality as it is. Dishonesty is systematized and normal in many enterprises. Organizations built on lies cannot see their reality.

Denial and lying are especially dangerous in times of rapid change. New leaders tell the truth always and create a climate that allows, expects, and encourages others to tell the truth. Truth telling becomes a competitive advantage.

The new leader stands for responsibility and accountability. Paternalistic managers talk tough and use bribes and threats frequently but rarely hold anyone accountable.

New leader organizations have big goals and high standards. People are expected to achieve the goals and live by the standards. The new leader confronts people who are dishonest, manipulative, irresponsible, disingenuous, and/or passive-aggressive. People grow in organizations where honesty is valued and where integrity and truth-telling are expected and rewarded.

The new leader selects talented people, develops them quickly, knows who the high and low performers are, retains the high performers, and removes low performers quickly and fairly. This accountability is healthy. New leaders are much "tougher" than their predecessors.

New leaders are authentic and courageous. Authentic leaders do not allow others to make them into saviors and are not seduced by the powerful lure of being regarded as a rescuer--a setup for failure. Authentic leaders show their humanity, admit their mistakes, ask for help, and don't act like they know what they are doing when, in fact, they haven't a clue. Trust comes from the vulnerability found in authentic relationships.

New leaders put the development and optimization of the "whole" ahead of personal gain. The leader understands that the enterprise exists to provide meaningful work and opportunities to learn and grow for employees as well as to provide a product or service for customers and financial returns for investors.

Followers respond to leaders they perceive as servants who care. They do not respond to those they perceive as villains out only for themselves.

New leaders are artists at heart. They work in harmony with life's natural creative dynamic. The innovator breaks the rules and challenges the boundaries with imagination that is daring, original, and perceptive.

These leaders are not on corporate fast tracks; they follow their own track. They understand that change requires new learning and growth, not mechanical programs.

The leader's job is to anticipate and have foresight. The artist creates the vision, the big goal, the inspirational destination for the future. The leader understands that each reality is unique and that importing tools, programs, and philosophies, from other organizations or societies and imposing them upon another enterprise or society will not work. Each group (from a society to an organization) must create their own ways to live out life's natural dynamics.

The new leader is a teacher who learns what needs to be taught. She translates the vision, values, and purpose of the organization to everyday operations. The leader listens to others and seeks to learn from people in the most humble positions. She creates conditions that bring forth "the wisdom in the system."

Learners understand that there is much new knowledge, and they read, study, and learn. If they don't have time to read, they hire someone who does to teach them what they need to know to lead sustainable organizations in our turbulent world.

The love of learning has been driven from many people by our institutions, beginning with our schools. Many people don't believe in themselves as learners. The leader as teacher reignites the intense, natural desire to learn and aligns it with the direction of the enterprise. The great teachers are great learners. Great leaders are great learners and teachers.

New leaders facilitate the many inner transitions that are concomitant with so much external change. They understand that constant change leads to inner emotional losses, anger, grief, resistance, confusion, fear, and ambivalence.

The leader understands this process and helps others manage their loss of identity, and the loss of the familiar. The leader knows these losses are expressed differently by diverse people. The losses must be accepted and acknowledged if identity is to change.

The leader realizes that a time of confusion and wandering is normal during transitions, and that creativity is possible if the emotions of transition are worked through in ways appropriate for each group and person.

From this creative place, the leader helps the group test out new beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors. Change can be managed in ways that increase speed, efficiency, and capacity for future change. The management of change becomes a competitive advantage.

One level of facilitation is to put an agenda together, take notes, and guide the group process. A deeper level of facilitation is to get "within" the group and guide it where the group wants to go congruent with the purpose and values of the organization. The leader is mindful and asks the question, "what wants to emerge here?' and "what am I trying to do here?"

The leader is comfortable with emotions--his and the groups. He can listen, confront, empathize, challenge, and acknowledge. He receives feedback without defensiveness and provides feedback without alienating others.

Leaders share their mistakes, shortcomings, and experiences and suspend and hold assumptions out for others to see. The leader as facilitator keeps minority views alive and avoids premature consensus.

The leader manages the tension between the vision and the reality of the organization. The leader realizes she must hold the vision when the tension level increases.

Instead of lowering the vision, she helps people manage the tension. The facilitator also understands that conflicts at boundaries are rich sources of creativity. Instead of suppressing the conflict, she helps people surface the conflict and assists in the exploration of its potential.

As people struggle to learn to think in new ways, the leader pays attention and helps when people get lost, stuck, or slip back to old habits.

The new leader is a lover of wisdom and the seeker of truth. The leader's goal is to see the "whole" and to understand and influence networks, patterns, processes, and relationships and to leverage diversity.

The new leader is a storyteller and realizes that we are the stories we tell and, therefore, have to be conscious and deliberate in telling them. He is aware of the metaphors of the enterprise and uses diverse metaphors to enhance creativity. The new leader seeks wisdom, inspires others, provides hope, opens eyes, and embodies the intuitive and spiritual aspects of our lives. The new leader creates meaning.

A senior executive said to me, "I am a machine kind of guy. I don't like people problems." This executive is in the wrong job. Tough-guy Jack Welch, CEO of General Electric said, "We spend all our time on people. The day we screw up the people thing, this company is over."

Many in positions of power are "screwing up the people thing," shortening the life-span of their organizations, and harming others unnecessarily. By the way, Jack Welch has created more wealth for GE than any CEO in history.

I sympathize with those who don't like "touchy-feely" things. I know many are scared of the new skills required of leaders. I was/am too; they require inner instead of external risk-taking, and we feel vulnerable. I know many talk tough and belittle the "soft" stuff to hide a sense of inadequacy. We must be compassionate yet firm with "leaders" about the need to grow.

Touchy-feely is often a code word for something that is not real. I too reject the "assumed intimacy" affected by many. I am not interested in hugging everyone because it is politically correct, playing silly games instead of doing real work, or taking on the rituals, trappings, and philosophies of bygone eras and vastly different cultures.

Our passion for one another should come from the work we do together, not from some artificial means. Great teams have great relationships because people are doing great work together.

New leaders embody skills and personal attributes that are real and to be aspired to--not belittled. New leaders evolve to a deeper and broader awareness, finely honed intrapersonal and interpersonal skills, a strong character woven throughout a lifetime of learning and experience, a greater maturity and judgment, and an ecological view of the world. New leaders model these qualities for all--leaders and followers--to emulate.

The leadership skills for the times in which we live are vastly different than the skills required for the times in which we used to live. The capabilities called for are of a higher order than in the past. Healthy and whole human beings are required--not pseudo machines and imitation heroes who are not what they appear to be.

Recommended Reading:

Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.

About the Author:

See Dr. Heuerman's author page in Selfhelp Magazine here.