SelfhelpMagazine

by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.

In the future, a woman and man from different continents connect through the Internet: PeruvianStud: Honey, is your body suit strapped on? DamedeParis: Yes, Cheri, it is and I am ready for you. PeruvianStud: Great. Let me give it a test. Can you feel it? DamedeParis: Ohhhhh, oui!! Give me more… [After several minutes] DamedeParis: Mon Amour, Cheri! Let's stop a minute.

I think the time is right. Let's make babies! I've got your semen ready right here, and I adjusted the sensor to inject it as the doctor suggested. PeruvianStud: These new sensors are fabulous. I can feel your skin. Mmmmm, Your lips are so soft, and you smell so wonderful. DamedeParis: Oh, mon dieux! I feel almost as if we are together.

While developers of technology have helped improve the human condition by bringing unimagined conveniences to our homes and jobs, they have also given us the capacity to be more vulnerable to our own temptations. Urges previously held secret are already given expression through the Internet. Our impulses are accelerated by electricity and given free reign to make deep emotional and sexual contact with strangers. As technology is increasingly successful in extending human contact, it is likely that the Internet will bring more confusion about relationships and increased opportunity for cyber-infidelity.

The new challenge for people using communication technology will be to look at their own behavior. The focus is turning inward, where we find the most significant battles we have yet to fight. These battles center on impulse control, love and sex, right and wrong. Cyber-infidelity crystallizes this battle, with impulses empowered and electrified, reaching across the globe in secretive yet lightening speed, held in check moment by moment only by one's loyalty to promises of fidelity.

As families are thrown into chaos by the powerful challenges and potential destructiveness of cyber-infidelity, society must face the task of dealing with its consequences.

It comes down, as always, to the individual-not the venue. How will each individual control his or her primitive impulses? The Internet has already exploded with dating and pornographic websites. With the mere click of a finger, people can reach hundreds of potential lovers and explore the depths of an emotional or a sexual cyber-affair, while their spouse and children sleep in the next room.

Much gratitude is extended to those who helped clarify, amplify and edit the material used in this article:
Michael Erickson, Ph.D.; Les Posen, Ph.D.; Rona Subotnik, MFT; and John Suler, Ph.D.

About the Author:

Dr. Maheu is an author, speaker, and researcher. She is the lead author of "E-Health, Telehealth & Telemedicine: A Guide to Program Startup and Success" co-written with Pamela Whitten and Ace Allen, published by Jossey-Bass: San Francisco.

She has also been the lead author on these two books: "Infidelity on the Internet" and "The Mental Health Professional and the New Technologies."