SelfhelpMagazine

by Patricia Pitta, Ph.D., A.B.P.P.

It is important you take responsibility for your part in the problems of the marriage and tell you wife about your failings. More important is to put your words to actions. Change the way you act and react in situations.

When you wife begins to see your changes, she will more than likely become more furious, because she will feel and say, "Why has it taken you so long too change, or too little too late", but if the changes are consistent, she will begin to believe them as permanent.

Possibly she will be able to lower her armor and let go of some of her anger, so she can begin to look at her responsibility for the problems in the marriage. Only at that point, will she will be able to forgive herself and you, and commit to making a new relationship by changing her part in the relationship.

Taking responsibility for your actions and making a commitment to want to change your behaviors are essential to reviving a relationship in trouble. A marriage problem is solved when both partners are involved in the solution.

About the Author:

Dr. Patricia Pitta is a clinical psychologist practicing in Manhasset, New York, for more than 20 years. She is a Diplomat in Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association and an Approved Supervisor of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Pitta is also the President of the Long Island Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.

She has created a treatment modality that enables the partners to accept responsibility for their parts in relationship problems leading to resolution of issues without getting stuck in blame. She encourages self growth which enhances couple growth and family development.