Self-help Articles

by Carolyn Bates

This past week, my mother-in-law passed away. She had been ill for a long time with dementia, broken her hip about eighteen months ago and had hospice care for the past nine months. In all, she was basically bedridden, with 24 hr. caregivers for four years. Some would ask, what took her so long? What was she waiting for? Was there a connected lesson for us from life to life after death?

Her family said that she had a long and memorable life. Many friends said it was time for her to go; she had no quality of life. Still, even though this had been expected, it was unexpected. We wondered, what was the significance of her time in these last few years?

For one, this extended time that she spent needing care, being here, yet not being here, wasn’t all about her. It actually gave her family and friends the space to let her go in their hearts, in their own timing. The good memories could be found, pictures from her past discovered and the time allowed reconnection between those who had known and loved her.

Secondly, a wonderful lesson appeared. Time was the link. We have nine months to prepare for birth, for a new life. We search for meaning and memories while living our lives; walking the dash between birth and death. We think about how to be living life, while dealing with the eventual time of death. We search and believe, through our faith, for life after death.

The connection is Life. We are always looking for its significance, memories, creating the mark we will leave. From the first moment you are born, how will you create a life that give those who knew you with a smile even after your death? Isn't that the true meaning of how to have a good life after death?

About the Author:

Carolyn Bates, principle coach for Coaching Life Design, specializes in life transitions and the challenges of growing older. She has a BS, The University of Texas/Austin, is an International Coach Federation Certified Personal Life Coach, author and teleclass leader. For more information, please visit her website at www.coachinglifedesign.com