SelfhelpMagazine

by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.

Step-parenting problems are extremely common in all sorts of relationships: lesbian, gay and heterosexual. Disagreements about how to parent, resentment about having to share the original parent, and negative feelings about having a parent in a same sex relationship are some of the reasons for these problems. Also, these problems may become worse when a child enters puberty and becomes more concerned about his or her own sexuality and about what peers will say.

I suggest you and your partner look for helpful resources. These might include books about stepparenting (check out the SelfhelpMagazine.com Parenting Department), support groups for same sex couples with children, and groups for children of lesbian, gay and bisexual parents.

If more help is needed, then look for a family therapist who has skills in working with blended families, ideally one who also has expertise in supporting a lesbian mother. Facing difficult parenting issues is never easy, but it's usually helpful to acknowledge the problems and work on improving the situation.

About the Author:

Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D. is an author and psychologist. She has a psychotherapy practice in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Bernstein speaks and writes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people for both general and professional audiences, and is the author of the audiotape, NOT HETEROSEXUAL: An Educational Program About Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People.