SelfhelpMagazine

by Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

By virtue of having an affair you both have violated the trust of your current mates. You say that you are both in love and that you derive things from one another that your current spouses do not offer.

Now you are thinking of breaking up two families and are concerned with dealing with the consequences. Have you both expressed to your respective spouses that you are unhappy and, for the sake of the children if nothing else, want to try to make things better? Or have you, like so many others, simply looked elsewhere without giving your spouses a chance to make things better?

Having an affair is at best risky business, especially when there are children involved. You will have to deal with hurt children, angry spouses, as well as your own guilt.

Is your love for one another strong enough to overcome all of this? Will you still love each other when you have to deal with the realities of your new life together?

I suggest that before you decide to break up your respective marriages that you take a moratorium on having an affair with one another and seek professional help with your spouses. After a few months of marital counseling you will be in a better position to make a decision on how to proceed.

About the Author:

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years. He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation, couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and assessment. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.