Self-help Articles

by Patricia Pitta, Ph.D., A.B.P.P.

It appears that although you are under much stress, but you are managing your situation effectively to the point that your symptoms are not apparent to your co-workers. That is quite an accomplishment.

To further increase your effectiveness, ask yourself the question? "Who are you turning the people who attend your meetings into?" Are you turning them into your critical parents, teachers by imagining that they will be critical of you? Or are you equating this meeting with another emotionally negative experience in your life?

Allow yourself to think about these situations seriously for a few minutes and you will probably find several responses. Write them down. Now, let's make you the best mentor and parent for yourself!

Look at the situations from the past and tell yourself how people who want to build your self esteem and confidence could have responded to you. Write these responses down and repeat these positive statements.

With these thoughts in mind, try to bring yourself to deal with speaking situations a little at a time. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a speaking class, where you can gradually expose yourself to speaking experiences without the pressure of performing in front of people you know.

Toastmasters Assists Those With A Fear Of Public Speaking

Toastmasters is an excellent example of such a class. They are found in many cities nationwide. Furthermore, they are very inexpensive, averaging less than $50 for a full year's membership.

If you gradually expose yourself to increasingly more difficult speaking experiences over time, your anxiety will decrease and you'll perform more effectively. You will begin recognizing that your internal messages will have changed, from expecting critical reactions to expecting positive, accepting reactions.

Your self-image will have changed from one of reacting as the child you had once been, to the adult you truly can be today with a little practice in a safe environment. You will transition from a fear of public speaking into a person who easily performs in front of others.

About the Author:

Dr. Patricia Pitta is a clinical psychologist practicing in Manhasset, New York, for more than 20 years. She is a Diplomat in Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association and an Approved Supervisor of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Pitta is also the President of the Long Island Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.

She has created a treatment modality that enables the partners to accept responsibility for their parts in relationship problems leading to resolution of issues without getting stuck in blame. She encourages self growth which enhances couple growth and family development.