SelfhelpMagazine

by Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

You found some erotic pictures of some of your husband's old flames. You wonder why he wants to save them and you feel hurt that he would want to preserve them.

Since your husband asked you to search for his auto registration and you weren't snooping, there is no reason why you should not tell him that you discovered the photos. You could also tell him that your feelings are hurt and that you would like to understand what the photos mean to him.

There is nothing inherently wrong with his desire to hold onto mementos of his past, whether they are photos of women or any other item. Many people want to have concrete recollections of their past, their youth, and find it difficult to let them go.

Most of us save photographs to remember the past. The issue for you is the nature of the photos, though you have no reason to believe that he is having an affair with any of the women.

You can only assume that these erotic photos are mementos of his single life and serve as a reminder of his days of bachelorhood, safely stored in boxes in the shed. Keep in mind that he married you, not them.

About the Author:

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years. He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation, couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and assessment. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.