Do Me A Favor: The Psychological Secret to Getting Favors

by Jaime R. DeLisio, M.A.

Need a favor? The best person to ask is someone who "owes you one," right? Wrong. Researchers have figured out the tricks to getting the help you want and need -- but why should they be the only ones to benefit from this knowledge? Use their work to your advantage! Read on to learn the psychology behind favors and how you may use it to:

Get someone to do you a favor
"Train" someone to do you more favors
Avoid feeling compelled to do favors for others
Be an effective salesperson or better deal with salespeople
Better understand your thought processes overall

Believe it or not, inventor and statesman Benjamin Franklin was also an authority on favors. He said, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged." In other words, if you need a favor, you're better off asking someone who has already done you a favor than someone you've helped. This is called Ben Franklin Effect.

So why would you go to someone who has already done you a favor and ask for another one? Even more puzzling: Why-oh-why would you jump to do another favor for someone you've already helped? The answer is because you tend to like a person more after doing them a favor. You rationalize that you did that person a favor because you liked them. Ben Franklin Effect falls under the category of ways in which you behave now in order to explain previous actions.

What Makes You Want to Help Henrietta

In case you're wondering, Ben Franklin Effect has been scientifically tested (most notably by Stanford University researchers in 1969). Also, like any good empirical phenomenon, Ben Franklin Effect is steeped in theory. It's based on the cognitive dissonance theory, which says that people work to reduce the uncomfortable tension of two conflicting, simultaneous thoughts.

Imagine that you've agreed to do a favor for Henrietta, a coworker that you don't really like. Once the favor is done, you'll subconsciously experience after-the-fact dissonance: "Why did I just do a favor for someone I don't like? Wait a minute, maybe I do like her." That dissonance will compel you to alter your feelings about Henrietta. Your delicate self-image won't allow you to believe you acted foolishly when you agreed to help her the first time. You'll justify the behavior by making yourself believe that you do really like Henrietta. So, the next time she asks you for a favor, you'll probably do it.

So What? How Can You Use This to Help You?

There are many ways in which you can "play" with the information in this article to gain a psychological advantage in life ...

First, you now know the right people to ask when you need favors. Plus, you can watch out for feeling better about people when they ask you for favors. Ask yourself how you truly feel about the person before you consent to help them again. It may also be interesting to ask someone who you believe does not like you to do you a small favor. If you get him/her to agree, see if his/her attitude toward you changes. You may then ask that person to do you a bigger favor and see what happens.

Ben Franklin Effect can also be used to your advantage if you're a salesperson or interact regularly with salespeople. The effect takes place in a popular persuasion method called "foot-in-the-door technique." In it, the salesperson offers something small before moving on to what he/she really wants. Because the buyer accepted the first offer, the buyer will believe that it's because they like the salesperson and are actually interested. Then, the buyer will be inclined to accept the second offer to avoid cognitive dissonance. Use this technique if you're in sales … and watch out for it if you're not!

In addition to all the games you can play with Ben Franklin Effect, you can also play with the role of cognitive dissonance in your life. The next time you have two opposing thoughts, make an effort to stop and think before changing your behavior or justifying your actions. Identify the conflict and notice how it came about. If it was somebody else who put that conflict in your mind, you may decide not to interact with that person anymore.

Hopefully, the next time you give or accept a favor or encounter a conflicting thought, you'll be thankful that you did yourself the favor of reading this article!

References and Recommended Readings

Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford: Stanford University Press.

Festinger, L. and Carlsmith, J. M. (1959) Cognitive consequences of forced compliance. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 58, 203-211.

Freedman, J., & Fraser, S. (1966). Compliance without pressure: The foot-in-the-door technique. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 4, 195-202.

Jecker, J. and Landy, D. (1969). Liking a person as function of doing him a favor. Human Relations, 22, 371-378.

About the Author:

Jaime R. DeLisio, M.A. has a Master’s degree in Communication with a focus on the practical applications of theory. She’s put her knowledge to work in careers as a broadcast news writer and senior advertising copywriter. Jaime is obsessed with the "hows" and "whys" of life and loves getting people interested in what’s behind the psychological curtain.