SelfhelpMagazine

by Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

You've asked a question that doesn't have any simple answer. It's important to remember that divorce is rarely easy for children. That's true regardless of what relationships, if any, their parents have after the divorce.

In addition, no one can know whether it would be better for them if you stayed in a marriage that was no longer working instead of ending it. I suggest you educate yourself on how to help children through these kinds of situations and make sure their needs are being met.

You wonder if it will be too hard on the children to be in a lesbian household. The hardest part will be adjusting to the new person in your life, particularly if that person is in a stepparent role, not to that person's gender.

Again, I recommend you educate yourself about how to deal with this type of change. The fact that it will be a lesbian household is relevant mostly because they may encounter prejudice from other children and adults. There are a variety of resources available about how to handle this problem.

Take a look at our Divorce and Children Departments, then at our links pages for additional references.

About the Author:

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years. He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation, couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and assessment. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.