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Does Your Child Say This: "My Teacher's an Idiot" -- Dealing with Disrespect
by James Lehman, MSW
Almost every kid will eventually have a teacher they don’t like, but that’s not an excuse for them to refuse to follow the rules of the classroom. When you side with your children in this scenario, believe it or not, you are actually undermining your own authority in the process.
The bottom line is that it’s a mistake to denigrate authority figures with your children, even if you agree with them. Keep the focus on the matter at hand, and off your child's feelings about their teacher. Read on to see how James Lehman advises you to handle the situation.
Handling Disrespect
“My teacher’s an idiot. I hate her.”
Translation: I don’t like and disrespect my teacher. Therefore, I don’t have to comply with what she asks me to do.
Ineffective parenting response: “Yeah, she’s really a jerk sometimes. You’ve still got to listen to her, though.”
Effective parenting response: “It doesn’t help to call the teacher names. What can we do to get your work done on time?”
About the Author:
James Lehman is a behavioral therapist and the creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents.He has worked with troubled children and teens for three decades. James holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Boston University.
Does Your Child Say This: "My Teacher's an Idiot" reprinted with permission from Empowering Parents.
this is so ridiculous! i looked up 'disrepect my teacher' because, frankly, i do. i dont want to, and i never used to feel this way, but now i do. Anyway, the advice this gives to parents is awful! Children dont want to hear about what they're doing wrong ("it wont help to call your teacher names"), they want to be told that it's ok, and everyone goes through this! This is TERRIBLE advice.
In general, makes sense.
But what about when the teacher really IS a jerk.. as in, student has not-so-obvious but severe motor skills disabilities, and is continually faced with demands that exceed his abilities.
Student still needs to show some form of respect (in our house say that when people are in authority, you have to salute the uniform, even if you can't salute the person). But just the act of pushing back at the teacher's unreasonable demands is taken as disrespect... and going over the teacher's head makes no difference.
My teacher is an idiot.